21/03/2021
The Covid Diaries - Day 375
It's been a while. I’m still here, thank god.
I should just write about gratitude but I’m going to go with selfcare. My form of selfcare is to rant a bit. I’m hoping that after I get this off of my chest, I will feel a bit better and less stuck.
If I had to describe how I’m feeling in one word it would be stuck.
If I went with more words I would say that I am frustrated, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, politically, aesthetically, sexually, and socially. Yep I think that sums it up.
In other news for my small reader crowd, I’ll give you a quick recap.
I have escaped this virus and touch wood have not picked it up at all. I’m still vegan, It will be 10 years in January. In May I will have lived in the UK for 20 years. I’m still devastated about Brexit and I think about it often. I bought an EU hoody that I wear proudly. Often on zoom calls with stakeholders that I’ve never met. I have a flight booked to see the folks in June, not sure if it will be safe to travel. Let’s see. I’m in the same job when it comes to the employer, I did however manage to escape the bullies and land a new position on 01/09/2020. It's been so nice I have moved to a new role. It's still a job vs winning the lottery but they people are good, and I’m respected.
I may have mentioned in a previous post that one of the housemates moved out over 2 years ago. Initially I had the room set up as a spare room. I’ve always wanted people to stay over and come and visit. I’m not sure if it's a London thing or not but people tend to go home back to their own bed even if they live miles away. So back when the world was normal, I would hang with them at Waterloo or Charing Cross station while they waited for their train home and I would then take the tube home.
So, after having a spare room for over a year pre-pandemic and 1 guest from Bristol I thought there is no point in having a spare room. So, I sold the double bed and mattress on ebay for £6 and turned the room into a home office and sauna. Oh yes, you heard me correctly. I now have a 2-man infrared sauna. It's pretty great, I have to say. It’s also worth more than my 11-year-old car. I’ve never had a second person in there with me. I’m pretty picky when it comes to sweat and well, I need to like the person and their sweat. There is also a pandemic happing so again no reason to have one over in the sauna with me.
What else, I’m still all about growth, discovery, doing the hard work etc so I went back into therapy in June. I picked a fab older lady who lives 20 minutes away. The plan was that one day we could have face to face counselling psychotherapy, however it's still a zoom relationship. She’s actually a published author and a therapist. She’s cool and therapy is hard work.
The degree is on going and I plan to be done with that part in June 2021.
I’ve since decided that I want more so in September 2021 I will start a 1-year top up degree. Integrated Working with Children & Families BA (HONS). I’m seriously going to have to bust my chops BIG TIME. They reason for this is a NEED a high grade so that I can then apply and get accepted to do a masters in Social Work. Yes! you heard it right. This is what I wanted to do when I was 16. It's what I was interested in and also what the career aptitude tests said.
Why I didn’t do this then with the first attempt at a degree at 19, I’ll never know for sure. Scratch that. I do know, it was the lack of confidence in myself and my inability to detach from a situation. I’m someone that would want to fix everyone, everything, take them all home, feed them, love them, hug them. I’m still that same person but I think I may be able to do this. Let’s see. One thing at a time. First, I need to finish the foundation degree.
Well guys, I feeling better already. I know I should journal more as it relaxes me and does make me feel better. I really must do this more. It doesn’t need to be the blog but it could be. Because I leave massive gaps, I’m always filling you in on updates. Hope you enjoy this read.
Take it easy and be kind to one another. We are all we’ve got.
Lxx
