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I am a Canadian who has been living in London UK for the last 14 years!! How did that happen?

Saturday, 2 May 2020

The Covid Diaries - Day 52

WOW!

Honestly, I don’t know about you, but lockdown quarantine has been soooo slow and super intense at the same time. There are moments when I feel like I’ve just come out of a 24-hour therapy session. So much is coming up.

I’m still (always and forever) expanding my mind by listening to podcasts and visiting territories that NEED to be visited. These are often mentally, emotionally and occasionally physically. 

Let’s start!

Physically.
It's occurring to me that I have almost never felt pretty / beautiful / attractive. Beauty does come from within, however there is no harm in feeling that on the outside to. Internally I know that I have so much to offer so that remains the same. This does not worry me. What I want to work on is how I feel about my external body. My soul feels ok. My parents love me, they are good people. However, I never grew up being told that I’m pretty, beautiful attractive. 

Scrubbing up well, and having boys want to sleep with me doesn’t actually count. 

I need to feel better about me. The minute quarantine started the first thing that popped into my head was Bette Midler in 80’s workout clothing. The movie is a 1986 classic called Ruthless People. I was soooo young when this came out and I honestly have no idea why I remember this, but this is what I remember. A lady (Bette) being held captive in a basement with an old TV (maybe with a VCR) watching exercise videos. She loses weight and gets fit! I’m thinking, I can do this. I should do this. 

Having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome does make somethings tricky and life is a balance of pacing however that applies to EVERYONE so it's just something that WE ALL need to master. I love walking and hiking; it's brings me joy and doesn’t feel like exercising. The issue with lockdown in London is that it's full of idiots that walk soooo close to you. The parks are fab, but they are packed. So! I Need to find things that I like doing at home. I might have mentioned this before, but I bought a mini trampoline a few years ago. It's good and I do like it BUT I hate the sound of the squeaky springs. I know I sound like such a snob, but I can’t help myself. It's too noisy. When I’m jumping, I want to watch TV, listen to a podcast, the radio, and audio book. You get the point. So, 2 weeks ago when I really felt down and out, I indulged and ordered the same rebounder that Victoria Beckham has. The FIT BOUNCE PRO REBOUNDER II has bungees instead of springs. For the record, I’m not that vain (or am I) I’ve been looking at a bungee rebounder for ages and I can’t wait for this to arrive mid-May. I’ve already set up a YouTube playlist of rebounder videos. Another reason why I can’t wait to rebound is that it's low impact, burns calories and there have been studies about it's effect on the lymphatic system and releasing toxins in the body. Watch this space girls and boys. Just watch.

Emotionally
Growth is the best way I could explain this. I was listening to a podcast this week and the host was talking about the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation. I never really spent that much time thinking of the 2. They are both so different and it’s totally possible to do one, without the other. Previously I always thought about the saving, forgive and forget. I didn’t want to forget as I’ve learned so much from different experiences in my life. Historically, I’ve given so much to some friendships and have been completely burned. So! NOW my heart and my head have fully forgiven some shitheads. AND I’m totally ok with not reconciling some friendships! Whoop whoop! 

Mentally
I’m thinking that I’m rocking this one. 
This is unprecedented times, and it is totally ok to feel a bit shit sometimes. A big mental download was its ok to feel sad when I realised that I have never gone this long without physical touch from a human or an animal. Single folks out there with a pet, are still getting that touch ‘fix’ that we all need as humans. To be clear too when I’m talking about touch. I’m not just thinking about intimacy, I’m including, hugs, handshakes, walking arm in arm with my peeps. I can’t wait to touch people again and I know that I will one day soon. I also know that I have not given up AT ALL in finding that one person that I’ll be able to touch ALOT! (hehehe)

I’m going to wrap this entry up. The next one will be about all the amazing people that I popped back in my life and old friends that are making the effort to keep intouch. Maybe it's my most favourite part of the coronavirus pandemic.

Peace
Lxx

Monday, 13 April 2020

The Covid Diaries - Day 33

I really want to try and write every day so here is a short post. I did not plan my day as well as I should of. 

Lets just reflect back on the previous post where my brother, sister and I answered a set bunch of questions. 

12. Prized possession: 
What I found the most interesting is how the 3 of us picked passports as our most prised possession. How cool and also weird. It's not like we were born in war torn countries or that we have ever really needed to struggle. We were all born in Canada. I suppose maybe a passport isn’t so much of a document for us to travel but more of a symbol of where our home is, and place that we can always return to. That must be it.

8 & 9 for my brothers answer: The next thing is, how gay is my brother. Thankfully the kid is fully gay so we can excuse him for his awful taste in films. One of my choices was a gay romance. What I like about the film, Gods own country is that it's really about 2 people that fall for each other. Despite one of them really not being in touch with his feelings, yet over time that grows. There is also a family dynamic thing happing. It's a slow movie set in beautiful hard climate. If you haven’t already, watch it. 

14. Favourite place in your city/town
My sister picked an art gallery, shows that she is cultured. My brother picked a coffee shop, maybe he likes people watching. He is 11 years younger than me so I have to keep that in consideration. And I picked the outdoors. Parks. It really surprised me that they picked buildings. 

Rose & Thorn:

My rose had to have been parts of my walk, just exploring new areas and seeing teddy bears and rainbows in windows. Neighbours chatting and keeping social distancing. 

My thorn is trying Alison twice today on the phone and her not answering or even sending me a text which is what I normally get. I’m worried about her. I don’t know what it is like to loose a mother-in-law  / parent. She is also in her first trimester so all these emotions can’t be that good for her.

The other massive thorn that I have not brought up yet is my housemate is not talking to me. 

Let me explain that to you tomorrow. 

Funny line of the day. I was messaging my friend G from work explain my experiment to see if I can see my abs one day. They have been in hiding my entire life. We were discussing different things I can do from home. He has suggested calisthenics. His final text was: ‘Oh and I wouldn't suggest any exercises that flatten your boobs out.’

Looking back at previous posts. I really am boob obsessed. Only mine that is. I need to stop talking about them. Really, this is weird.

Until we meet again my readers, I’ll sign off. 

Lxx

Sunday, 12 April 2020

The Covid Diaries - Day 32

Hello my beloveds, 

As every entry starts the same (with an apology) you will have to excuse me for my tardiness. This maybe a new record for me. The last time I posted was 3 years ago! Yikes! (I’ll update you on the boys mentioned in the previous post at the end of this post)

So! Where were we… as usual, too much to get into, so we will have to fast forward to the new and current Covid Diaries. I went into isolation on Wednesday March 11th 2020. It's been a hell of journey, but I would say I’m pretty well adjusted now and quite in my element. Should we be worried, hell ya! Am I a social butterfly, a hermit or a homebody? I’m all of the above. I look forward to the new world when we see it again. Until then, I’m loving this current state (most of the time). 

Don’t get me wrong, it’s still full of shit too. Alison’s mother-in-law Susan died of Covid19 on March 8th, it's so sad and it hasn’t hit me yet. You’ll know from previous posts that it takes me time to really accept and feel the loss of people. I just coast and carry on for a while, then out of the blue it will hit me. Funerals give me so much closure and I didn’t attend this one. Susan was buried less than 24 hours after passing. This is normal in the Jewish faith (same for Muslims too). Only one of her son’s and his wife where there. Alison’s husband has to WhatsApp video his bother in Italy. 

Normally there would be 7 days where family and friends would sit Shiva. This is not possible right now, plus it's Passover. For any of my dedicated readers who don’t know what shiva is, watch: This is where I leave you. It’s based on a book. The film is just an easy way to understand what Shiva is, even though the family are not Jewish. 

What else, the first few weeks when I could get food delivered, I ordered comfort items like rich tea biscuits etc. I’m now over that nesting phase and have gone back to lots of veg. This Thursday’s delivery is a crazy amount of veg. I’ve decided that when the new world begins, I’ll re-enter it a stone lighter. (For those of you who know what I look like, don’t fret, it's really not that bad. It's just that 5 pounds looks different on me so 14 pounds will look pretty cool)

I’ve mentioned the new world a few times now, what do I mean. Well, here goes nothing. 

This event that we are living though will change us forever. Once we are out of lockdown, the world will not bounce the way we may think it might. There will be some initial hurdles. Will Wembley ever be full again? Who knows. I sure hope so. I actually bought tickets to watch England vs Italy on Friday March 27th, 2020. It will take time for theatres to reopen again. People will need to find jobs. There will be huge amounts of transition. We will start to see the remains of those who have crumbled with their mental health. Truer figures of domestic abuse will be released too. 

BUT… Let’s talk about the good stuff! Some people have never had so much sleep since being an infant. Families are talking again; gardens have never looked better. Kids are seeing both of their parents. We are getting to know our neighbours. We are cooking more. We laugh more on family zoom calls. Zoom calls with my moms’ side of the family is a real riot. The beginning of the call is all the kids (me and my cousins) reminding our folks to put their hearing aids up. It's only the ones in their 70’s and 80’s, everyone else is ok. 

The first few weeks I wasn’t taking any walks at all. I did some gardening but other than that the only fresh air was opened windows in the house and taking out the wheelie bins. I’m sure there was an element of fear that was keeping me in. However, as we are seeing we are going to be here for the long haul. It’s time to move.  

I’ve been on 4 long walks in the last 5 days. I missed one day because the zoom call with my family killed me. You know I love them but it's hard work at times. My siblings and I had to pretty much yell at my dad to stay home. Tough love in my family is often that last resort that works. We had to remind my dad that (god forbid) if he gets sick. None of us can see him in the hospital. If he died, we couldn’t go to the funeral. You might judge us for being mean, but it worked. He’s staying put. My mom is a front-line worker (nurse) so she’s feeling it.

Back to my walks story. To remind you in case you forgot. I bought my house in 2007 because it was nice enough and neighbourhood looked ok. Only after living here a few months did it dawn on me that I bought in a pretty affluent neighbourhood. My street has become so gentrified over that last few years. Child actors live a few doors down. (The kids in BBC Poldard and Catastrope). I don’t really feel like I fit in here, but I’m not sure where I am supposed to be. (That’s a whole other blog post, so I’ll park that ) So! I’ve been exploring and walking around these streets. So many houses, families everywhere. It's been amazing. Some of the joys I have witnessed was a family on a jog. The mom was in the front and then behind her were her 2 kids, I’m guessing 8 and 10 years old, followed by her husband. That was definitely my rose of the day. [if you have forgotten, you have to end everyday with remembering what your rose and thorn was for the day. The good and the not so good] 

Today’s Rose was sooo simple and beautiful. I was walking down the road, in my leggings, vegan t-shirt, baseball hat, bum bag (yes you heard right, this is not a fashion show) and my headphones. Due to the fact that I absolutely love homes, I check each one out. I passed a house with the front door open and a very elderly man with his Zimmer frame was just watching the world go by. I smiled and waved at him and he waved back. I wonder if he knows that he made my day.

Time to start wrapping up. My sister and mom are in a condo block on the 15th floor. They do have a balcony but it faces a car park, you can see Lake Ontario in the distance. Canada is not encouraging walks etc so they are stuck. My sister was going a little stir crazy so she sent my brother and I some questions. I added 3 more questions and neither of them replied. I do ask the tough questions.  Have a look at our replies. My next post will be to go into this a bit further. 

My answers:
1. Favourite Colour: turquoise 
2. Favourite junk food: popcorn 🍿
3. Favourite Pizza Toppings: mushrooms 🍄
4. Comfort food: potato 🥔
5. Favourite Dessert: rice pudding
6. Hot beverage you love: hot chocolate 
7. Favourite card game: solitaire 
8. Movie to make you cry: My Girl when I was young. God’s Own Country now
9. Movie to make you laugh: We’re the Millers
10. Favourite Holiday: Easter 🐣
11. Favourite article of clothing: warm socks and scarfs
12. Prized possession: 2 valid in date passports = democracy & freedom
13. Favourite place in your home: my bed / my bedroom 
14. Favourite place in your city/town: one of the parks. Highgate woods, Hampstead Heath, St.James Park 
15. Favourite place on earth: a place where I feel safe. Not sure yet where that is. I did love the Serengeti 
16. Describe what love feels like in one word?
17. What scares you the most in the world?
18. Do you believe in God?

My sisters’ answers:
1. Favourite Colour: dark red
2. Favourite junk food: cheeseburgers
3. Favourite Pizza Toppings: cheese and pepperoni 
4. Comfort food: rice and yogurt with salt
5. Favourite Dessert: good quality chocolate ice-cream
6. Hot beverage you love: grande half sweet peppermint mocha from Starbucks. 
7. Favourite card game: asshole
8. Movie to make you cry: Beaches
9. Movie to make you laugh:  sooo many... Bridget jones diary.
10. Favourite Holiday: my birthday! 
11. Favourite article of clothing: my mint green nike running shoes. & a grey pyjama t-shirt i have had for 9 years. 
12. Prized possession: passports & pearl earrings
13. Favourite place in your home: in my bed
14. Favourite place in your city/town: Art Gallery of Ontario 
15. Favourite place on earth: Interlaken, Switzerland.

My brothers’ answers:
Questions for siblings!
1. Favourite Colour: blue?
2. Favourite junk food: cookies
3. Favourite Pizza Toppings: cheese pepperoni green peppers and mushroom
4. Comfort food: kitchri? 
5. Favourite Dessert: chocolate cake 
6. Hot beverage you love: tea 
7. Favourite card game: rummie
8. Movie to make you cry: Armageddon / a league of their own
9. Movie to make you laugh: She’s the man
10. Favourite Holiday: Pride
11. Favourite article of clothing: McGill hoodie
12. Prized possession: passport
13. Favourite place in your home: bedroom
14. Favourite place in your city/town: jimmy’s coffee
15. Favourite place on earth: a beach?

To recap the boys post:

-        As of new years eve, Michael is alive with prostate cancer. He doesn’t reply to my texts. I think he is still living in hostel, and his post still goes to his old home. 
-        My Scottish friend is good. He and his wife were almost stuck in Lanzarote but got back to the UK. After self-selection. They are both good.
-        I haven’t heard from the friend who retired. He is way up north. 

Peace out

Lxx

Wednesday, 16 August 2017

Boys

Hello kids,

It’s been a while! Sorry for the radio silence.

As usual its unfashionably late and this is not the time to be blogging but I’m in the sharing mood so here I am!

Adam at work has also been emailing me telling me that he’s giving up on randomly checking the blog for the latest entry so here it is.

I still find boys and girls sooo interesting so let’s talk about boys. No boy has landed on my lap yet (did I ever tell you about my fantasy of sitting on the tube when the driver suddenly stops and this amazing man stumbles and ends up on my lap)… that’s what I’m waiting for.

I can tell you about lots of other boys that all make me smile.

A few hours before I was departing for Glastonbury in June I was talking to neighbor Michael who is in his 60’s. I‘ve mentioned him before, his beloved partner of 30 years died in October and he is having to move. They never married and her kids and the bank want the money. Its beyond awful and a note for all of us to sort out our fianances. Anyhow.. we are chatting away and I tell him that I need to dash, pack and get on the road. He last words to me were to have fun… and come back older. How sweet is that, I suppose that’s flirting without being gross and seedy.  I just smiled and gave him a hug.

Quick diversion as we’re on the topic of Michael and hugs, my mother was in town in June. It was a difficult strained visit. When she left she didn’t hug me or tell me that she loves me. Her last words were to take care. We have not spoken since. These things happen, it is what it is. Michael who also has prostate cancer and broken heart was able to show me more love and kindness than the person who gave birth to me. As I said, it is, what it is.

Next boy, In June I also went to Edinburgh for a few days to listen to my favorite speaker talk about inner peace, Prem Rawat. Whilst there I met up with a work colleague / friend who I got to know in 2014, when we were on a 1 week residential course. He drove me around and showed me the sites. It was so nice. There is something so great when girls and boys can be friends and fully confide in each other without judgment. Like almost every person I know, we are so different. He is married with 2 sons, at times he jokes about me ending up with his sons and then he says that I’m too good for them. This makes me laugh.

Tonight I had drinks with another colleague who is retiring at the end of the month. He is 66, he too is a sweet guy who says if he was only 30 years younger… Boys are such funny things. At one point in the evening we were reciting famous quotes about love and sex. One that he told me that I really like comes from Oscar Wilde. ‘For men the price of sex is intimacy, for woman the price of intimacy is sex’. This quote gives a lot to chew on. What do you kids think? Please post opinions in the comment section. Oh and the reason we were talking about love is that he cant figure out why I haven’t been snapped up yet. ( sooo good for a gilrs ego!)

Oh I was crying this morning, it was short and brief but let me share. I have a colleague that has no tact or sensitivity. He was making jokes about the fact that train drivers get full retirement as soon as 3rd person jumps in front of his/her train. This is not something to be happy about or to wish upon anyone. Not even 5 minutes later he then started talking about kids/young adults that might take their own life if they get poor A-level results tomorrow. To be clear, I did not start crying when he said all this shit, it was only later when I was talking to another colleague about the other persons lack of sensitivity that I got frustrated / upset.

That’s it for now,

I’ve met some pretty fantastic people this year, and veganism is changing my life daily for the better. Will tell ya more soon

Peace out and love one another… if you can't, the be kind to one another
L xx

Tuesday, 23 May 2017

What's going on out there?

Music makes my world go round. I've said this many times before. I'll try and recap what's been going on. While in Amsterdam I was out of the loop with news.

On Monday morning I wake up to see that Chris Cornell (sound garden) 52 had died on Thursday. It was an RIP Instagram post. Immediately my head just jumps to the fact that it was probably suicide. 52 is young. (Most of you know that I've lost a good few men / friends to suicide.) It's the biggest killer of men under the age of 45. Unfortunately after reading the Rolling Stones article I got even more upset to hear that Ativan played a major part in his death. I also know someone else who also attempted to end their life while taking Ativan.

These Big Pharma companies make me sick. The system is so corrupt, these companies have the money to pay the lobbyists and pretty much have a political say. It's not as bad in the UK as the US but it's still happening. 

It's the same thing with Veganism when it comes to the big dairy and cattle industries. They are all in bed with one another. Go watch #whatthehealth

And how about this, 2 nights before I had a deep and meaningful conversation with someone about mental health and we discussed our individual experiences with loved ones who took their own life. 

I went to bed with a heavy heart. Just thinking about Chris, his wife and the children he left behind.


Then comes this morning, I wake to find out what's happened in Manchester. Again more deep sadness. Why is there such evil

Friday, 17 March 2017

March 2017 update

. I've spent 16 years now in north London and finally things are starting to aline. Many of you from small towns will probably take this completely for granted. If you were to talk to someone about a product that you bought or a gym class or your dentist. You might actually know what the other person is talking about or where to find it. You might live in a town that only has one Tesco or one Sainsbury's. This is not the case for me. I live in a big city that is populated with millions of people. My circles until now have never crossed.

Have a listen to all the 'crossing' that's been happening since March 1st 2017. A lot of this is North London but I feel that I've finally arrived. I don't know how else to explain it. Most of these stories all happened at the recent wedding in Israel.

When I worked at the NHS there was a guy in IT. At the wedding someone who knew I worked at this specific NHS trust asked if I knew him. She then went on to say that her neighbour's daughter was to marry him. Random, but I actually know who he is.

I'm talking to a guy about yoga and reiki and he tells me that he has had reiki done by Carly Garce. I then burst out with, 'OMG! Carly is my reiki master!' Wow! We then go on to talk about the infrared sauna at the yoga studio he attends. I've never been, don't have a membership, it's more than I can fork out at the moment.

I'm taking to a guy about veganism and he says that his favourite restaurant is vegan (although he is not) and it's Vantra/Vitao. I'm like, OMG! I'm going there on Saturday for the first time. It's my friends hen party.

At another point I'm talking to the groom's cousins husband and my first job in the U.K. comes up. I use to work at JD Sports on Oxford Street in the 90's. He asked if I knew Kofee and Pam. YES! Pam was my boss and Kofee was her partner. He grew up with Kofee in east London. Random again!

At one point I'm messaging a friend and randomly we are taking about favourite animals and he says once it was a wolf. 🐺 2 days later at breakfast I'm holding one of the wedding guests gorgeous baby son. His name is wolf in Hebrew.

There is just umpteen things / comments that have happened. I often forget how educated I am when it comes to religions and faiths. I took classes in Judaism in college. (As well as Islam and Catholicism - also went to catholic school runed by nuns). If I had a buck / pound for every time someone asked me if I was Jewish I would be rich! They would only ask me once we were talking, as I'm quite aware of customs words traditions etc.

On the last day at breakfast I had a load of people stopping me because they loved my tshirt. I've had it a few months and it's never got so much love before.
It reads:
Race: Human
Politics: Freedom
Religion: Love

Friday March 10th 2017 (still on annual leave)

I started my day off with the necessary adult duties of laundry. Once I had a load washed and hung, I headed out to my friend Ellie. She's a new friend however our conversations and thoughts are so aligned. I've never been to Ellie's house so I met her south of the Thames. She's doing an online tarot card course so she pulled a load of tarot cards for me. The message that kept on coming over and over was to just chill, let go, stop thinking and just be. This is the story of my life but I feel that I'm always need reminding.

Ellie is fortunate enough to have a infrared sauna in her spare room. (Lucky ducky - I'll get one, one day) the medical benefits of infrared sauna's are really amazing. It's very different to a normal sauna and far more powerful. Towards the end of my visit I sat in there naked for 45 minutes and even had a nap. She was doing paperwork work downstairs, plus she uses the sauna for 20 minutes daily. Very few places in London have these types of saunas. There is a place in Notting Hill that charge £38 for 20 min! Yikes! I know I won't be able to use Ellie's sauna often but it was a delightful treat. Thank you x

Now let's talk about the universe and money. I'm surviving but not flourishing financially. I would like to pay off all debts, flourish and give more to charity. (Since the age of 16 - I give to charity).

The day before I was flying out to Israel, it dawned on my that I actually need some jewellery to wear with the dress. I was rushing around town and by the time I finished buying all the bling it was £80. I only wear real jewellery so fake stuff is a one off. Once I was in Israel, on a free day I went to the local mall and found much better and cheaper things that I purchased and used instead. So yesterday I did some returns and got £62 back! Thank you universe.

For a while now the bottom corner of my phone cover/case has been broken. So when I drop my phone on that corner, it's completely exposed and not protected. The cover that I had was an apple original product. They are expensive in my option but I love that they are silicone (vegan) and no slip, good grip. I've decided recently that it's high time I get a new cover seeing the last time I dropped my phone the corner got chipped. I walk into apple and picked a new cover. While chatting to the girl who is taking my payment I point to my existing cover and say, I hope it doesn't break here again. She then asked how long I've had it. '11 months and I have the electronic receipt!' Her reply was, 'Well then, we'll just swap it free!' Thank you universe for just saving me £35

I've had a swatch watch since I was a teen. I don't always wear it, but I own it. The battery in my swatch stopped about 2 years ago. I was about to head over Timpson's as I passed Swatch. I walked in to see what they charge. Free for all swatch watches! Thank you Universe (worth noting that Timpsons and Greggs the baker hire ex convicts / criminals and people with spent convictions. I believe in reform and support these companies)

I'm walking around town and bumped into my old housemate. He moved out in February and only lasted 3 months. That's very short. Most of the guys I live with stay for about 3 years. This guy was in a bad place and I suppose we both thought that it would work out. Well it didn't and it was a relief when he left. He's got some major stuff to sort out in his life. None the less I wished him well when he left, and knew nothing about his new movements. It was nice to talk to him for a couple minutes and he's doing better. Although he too was released back to the universe and no longer in my life. I was still curious. Now I know he's ok ish.

Saturday March 11th 2017 - Bride number 2's hen party

This was quite a interesting group of people. From the look of things, I think the bride has a variety of different circles of friends. Pro's and cons. Many knew each other but I'm guessing few know her. That's not the case for me. We met on a residential yoga retreat in Portugal in 2013.  Since then 80% of our catch-ups are walking around parks. Nothing beats a good walk and talk.

Anyhow, back to this group. I was not feeling it at all. Many were super bitchy, even when they were trying to be nice it was so forced. I survived as I always do, however it's unlikely I will socialise with this crew. I did a whole lot of people watching and observing. Occasionally I had to speak up when it came to the vegan stuff.

Might as well start with that. The bride is not a 110% vegan like me. She's probably a 60% she tries but also eats a load of non vegan food. Fish, dairy meat etc. Why I've given her a 60% it's because she's does full vegan meals often and sometimes does full vegan days. Anyhow, the point of this explanation, is that it was the bride who picked the vegan restaurant! NOT ME (thank you universe none the less for delivering)

Before the first activity - scavenger hunt even began. One of the girls was complaining about the evening meal. What's wrong with people. She hasn't even gone there yet or looked at the menu. Her negative energy was constant throughout the day. And would you guess who had a shitty day? HER! Serves her right. During the scavenger hunt she refused to wear the 'Where's Wally / Wanda?' hat and glasses 👓. The rest of us all made the effort. Her day got worse when we went for dinner. Due to her making loads of harsh vegan comments, I was able to give her some back, in a kinder gentler way. Other people had loads of positive comments and I would reply. 'Thank you for being understanding and excepting, what I'm doing is for myself and I'm not telling other people what to do.' You could tell that the meanie knew that message was intended for her. She's gone now, I've released her back to the universe immediately.

Let's talk about passing judgement / opinion. Is it humanly possible to not have some kind of opinion on most matters? I'm careful to avoid confrontation and keep my opinions to myself. We are all entitled to our own thoughts.  - At the same table is a pregnant lady. She was 2 people away so although I could hear everything, I wasn't involved in the conversation. Her parents are abroad and she only wants them to come once the baby is 3 weeks old. She is hiring a night nurse!
You guys should live in my head for a few minutes if you can handle it. Let's recap what's going on in my head. 'What the fuck! A night nurse! Seriously!'
I'll stop there. I don't want to loose any of my faithful readers. Thinks that's only one or two people. Lastly, when it came to the same person. We were talking about where we live. Her reply was the beginning of her post code. What the fuck again! Seriously! I know my London postcodes, I also know it's one, if not the most expensive postcode in the country. Who fucking cares! Just say where the fuck you live. Man some people really piss me off.

Sunday March 12th 2017 - full moon!!

The wonders of Mother Nature are on display at Columbia Road Flower Market. Such a special place on a Sunday morning in London. I've got flowers for my bedroom, the office at work and some for the house. Pictures on Instagram

Later that day, I met up with a friend and her daughter. I don't see her often and we have little small talk. Her life, childhood, upbringing and employment is so different to me. It's very hard to relate. So when we talk, I ask real questions. If I wanted to talk about the weather. I would talk to my beloved father. (He still mentions the weather in 50% of all our conversations, texts and emails)

Anyways. A few days later I've received a text from her saying: Yes I'm fine, thanks. I don't know how to say this diplomatically but I didn't enjoy our last meet-up, as so often happens after seeing you i ended up feeling interrogated and judged. I do genuinely know you don't mean to, but this seems to be the dynamic that has developed between us. Apologies if this comes across as harsh, I don't know how else to put it...

Oh well, what can I do. I see it like it is. If you don't want an intelligent emotionally deep, caring, loving friend. Then there is not much I can do.

If there is only one word on my grave stone it would read 'Friend' and one day I hope it changes to 'Loved'

While we are talking about the friendship cull. Let's talk about another friend of mine. This one is a male. I've known him since 2004, that's a while ago now. Anyways, he kind of wants me but can't have me. He's not my type but he is a great friend. He hasn't tried any real moves over the years. He did once hold my hand in the cinema before I pulled it back. I really don't want guys getting the wrong impression. I'm not a player, it's wrong to give people hope when there isn't any at all. He's got a lot of crap going on in his life. I've learned a lot in the last few years. I don't take on people's 'stuff', if I can help with my friendship then I will. That's it, that's all. So last month I had a really painful bacterial chest infection (think I might still have it). So I was texting him and tell him and his asshole reply was 'I can rub your chest for you'

Seriously! What a stupid fucker! There's another person off the list. He doesn't have the balls either to confront his stupidity. I didn't reply and haven't heard from him either

Think I'll end there, this is getting long

Laters

Lxx