ADD / ADHD Continued

 Hi all,

This is more of a continuation on my previous post. 

My mind is still blown. 

I’ll see the GP next week to discuss the referral with the mental health team for a confirmed diagnosis for ADD / ADHD. Just writing that sentence was HARD. Very, very hard. 

For so long, the traits that I have lived with, I presumed were just my personality. It’s the things that make me who I am. As mentioned in a previous post, I’ve been called Marmite before. You either love me or hate me. 

Now in hindsight, maybe this was just the annoying ADHD traits. 

I know I have the worst habit of cutting people off. I try so fucking hard, I look for a pause, a break, a place to appropriately interpret. Then there is the terrible moment when the person speaking has moved onto another topic. By this point, I’ll probably say sorry, I have a quick question. 

I have learned a lot over the years to best manage me, now I know it’s a condition. Regardless, If I’m ever in a training environment, I always ask at the beginning if they want questions to be answered at the end or interrupt the speaker. I’m sure you can guess what my preference is. 

I also hate, hate, hate talking to a group on MS Teams or Zoom if they have their cameras off. It’s hard enough interrupting when I can see them. It’s so much worse when I can’t. I’ve been noticing recently how their voice and tone change. They are clearly pissed off. This happens with one of my aunts all the time. She’s almost always annoyed with me. 

I have lots of decisions that I need to think about, make, change etc. 

Do I forgive people’s bad behaviour, them being cross with me, they don’t know that my brain is legit on another planet. Do I let them know of my newfound superpower / neurodivergent brain. 

Or…

Do I just avoid these people from now on, and I just seem to aggravate them, and it’s best for both parties. 

Decisions. 

The next thing on my list is to carry on learning about all of this. 

I’ve been reading the book Scattered Minds by Gabor Maté. 

I read articles, listen to podcasts and Zoom discussions, etc. 

A few weeks ago, when Gabor was in London discussing the latest book on trauma, I queued for an hour to have my book signed. Whilst in the queue, I ended up talking to a lady who was my age and diagnosed 2 years ago. She said that knowing was life-changing and a real trip. She’s right! 

Peace ✌️ out

Me x