Things are better. I'm starting to feel like me again. I haven't cried since Monday and I'm taking good care of me. My friends have also been great, lots of nice texts etc. My yoga teacher even called me yesterday.
I'm a lucky ducky.
I'm just focusing on all the good now. None of us know what's going to happen from one minute to the next but we can always hope.
Dream big. I've always been a dreamer. I live and function well in a very realistic world but that's never stopped the dreaming.
What else have I been doing. I'm taking a break from reading the papers (all of them) and watching the news. Normally I like to be clued up with what is happening around me and other parts of the world. However reality often bites so I can live without it for a bit. When BBC question time is back on I'll start watching it again. It's too good to miss.
Oh another thing. In the last few weeks a Canadian told me about a podcast called Vinyl Cafe Stories from CBC radio with Stuart McLean. I've been listing to 2 a day. One on the way to work and one on the way back. It's been a real hoot and it's always funny when you catch yourself laughing on the tube. It's a tad bit embarrassing but who cares!
Tonight I'm going to after work drinks with my new department. It will be interesting to see what they are like when they are not behind their desks. One of the girls is getting married in a few weeks and that's the reason for the gathering.
You can tell that I'm almost back to normal (I'll always miss people, but I live for me and for them too). So a way I know I'm back is when I say what some would say is inappropriate things. I'm careful what I say and to who. I'm just far more open than an average Brit.
So I'm in the work kitchen yesterday alone with the bride to be. She's telling me how she needs to be careful when drinking tomorrow. Her bladder isn't the best. Then that's when I start.
It was funny, I was asking her if she wanted kids in the future. She said maybe. Well then, I said, best you start working on those Kegal exercise / pelvic floor muscles. She had no idea what I was talking about. Then I started pointing to the muscles and telling her to contract. But how she said, I don't know what I'm doing. Think about holding it when you need to pee. Once I explained that she got it. Actually the pelvic floor muscles aren't the same as the bladder ones but they are close to each other and both should be exercise
I had her in hysterics. I was telling her that if she really started to exercise these super important muscles then if she decides to have babies she won't be wetting herself every few minutes. And I told her! 'Your man will feel the difference!'
I then went on to say, 'You do know what I mean?' 'Yes! Yes! I know!' she yelped!
Good, good I replied.
All this Kegalling made me remember an article
This extract from a Sunday Times article 25 June 2011 puts everything into perspective "You do see a lot of British women with vaginas you could drive a bus up,” one woman obstetrician remarked graphically. “I think a lot of them just accept that forgoing sexual pleasure is the price they have to pay for having children.”
Well, I'm almost at work.
So ladies... Go kegal. And the rest of you, love one another.
I feel like Oprah and Ellen DeGeneres.