Now I’ve known this for so many, many years. I can vividly remember that when Mark died I ended up with a chest infection. Here is a side note. When I lived in North America I often had Laryngitis, Bronchitis etc. I always got the official title, you don’t really get that so much in the UK. So my lungs ache and the pain wakes me. I’ve been awake since 3am coughing. I’m tired and fed up. I’ve now made it to the front room. (PS. It’s a tiny house so please explain why I call it the front room. It could be the lounge which also sounds grand. I haven’t called anything the living room for decades). I’m parked on the sofa with a hot water bottle and a cup of tea. It’s almost 5am and I will try and sleep soon. So back to the grief. Coach Renee has been saying for months now that I’m mourning my old life, my old friendships where I have changed etc. She’s on the ball, I think I’m also mourning the life I never had. Also worth noting, I can’t even put my hand on my heart and...
Well, well, well. Where do I start. Let me try chronologically. Reflections from the Friday (I posted in the evening). My time with Cauli was interesting, it was good that we were both doing an activity but not walking side by side. We got to see the queens clothing and then came back together to discuss a few outfits. - so light conversation of no meaning or depth. Earlier we were chatting and I went into my health and what’s really going on in my life. Important things, real feelings etc. When it was her part, she just recounted her recent trip in great detail. I’m really happy she had a good time, at the same time I know nothing about how she is really feeling, doing etc. No real life presence at all. Not sure how things will pan out with us in the future. Think it will be the odd catch up here or there. Then the hospital and the rest of that day. I touched on it a bit but it was intense and heartwarming too. There really were 30 people in the hospital room...