Mary Poppins

​I have secret 

Not many of you know this but I actually have a super power. I suppose you may have guessed by the title of this blog entry, but I can be Mary Poppins. Give me a flat or house and free rein to move, sort, tidy, arrange, rearrange and I can make genuine magic happen. Add the fact that I have ADHD and I’m a Virgo the transformation is BIG. Now for more than a year when I’m at Mr.Richmond’s place I do wonders. I then write reams of notes. Some of this is purely what I have moved. Sometimes I explain why, sometimes I give suggestions. (Let’s be honest too, I’m shit at suggestions. I’m mostly telling, ordering, directing - terrible masculine energy). 

Since Sunday I’ve been writing this novella for him. If i’m not actually writing, then I’m thinking of what I need to add etc. to the note. I think of it in the night too. 

Coach Renee has been on a well deserved break until today. She checked in on me and I told her what I was doing. She left me a rock star message. She said, “Why don’t you not leave a note.” He will just see what you have done. 

Fireworks explode in my head! Holly shit! He is a grown ass man with eyes. It’s his place, all he has to do is open any cupboard or drawer and see the magic. Aside from the huge realisation that this is the BEST option. I felt huge relief , freedom and a weight lifted. 

War and Peace is not needed, nor has there ever been any expectation for me to do anything at all. I mean I have been raised as a good girl, who keeps tidy and cleans up after herself. That’s all that’s required. (you should see how I leave hotel rooms - once I even stripped the bed. YES! too excessive) 

Now no note means that I have not shared any of my wisdom.. but it also gives him the opportunity to call me and ask for it, if he so wishes. 

PS. If you want my tidying services- call me

The last 2 nights after I’ve logged off for the day, I’ve gone on long glorious walks along the Thames. It’s almost like the universe planned it. The last night I went in one direction and this evening I went the other way. So glorious. 

I also visited my favourite friends. Old, old trees. I love trees so much! Listen to how cra cra this is. If dream man offered me a huge skating ring of a diamond ring. Or a big ass ancient oak, London plane (it’s a tree) or redwood with some land. I would choose the tree. I would hug my tree every day. (I’d hug him too)

Today I put my hand on 2 trees. I don’t even look around anymore to see if people are watching. I don’t care. All I know is that when I have my palm to the tree my heart beat slows. 

OMG! This just make me think of a boy that I loved from a long, long, long time ago. (PS. If I’ve loved you, I’ll always love you). Anyhow, whenever I even stood next to him my heart rate changed. One might think that it goes faster. That’s what you see in the movies, racing heart etc.  But no, not me. When he was near there was the deep calm and safety. I haven’t seen or spoken to him in years, but I sure hope he is well. He had the best smell too! Scrumptious 

Come on readers! Find me my person already!!!

Here are some pictures of my tree friends. 

The girth on this one! 

This one was just beautiful but I didn’t go and touch it. 

Adultry, Affairs, Observations

Friday July 17th 2024 - Alexandra Palace Park

I have an hour until Richard Ashcroft come onto the stage. I’m also alone so nobody to talk to. This is not Glastonbury where so many people actually go in their own. I personally don’t see that very much at outdoor gigs and other festivals. It’s cool though, I’ve been to this park many a time in my life so really I feel like I’m in my back garden. 

I saw my homeopath this morning, this was our 4th appointment this year. She’s been practicing as a homeopath for 30 plus years and she’s very good. Every time I see her I get more excited about starting my training to become a homeopath. The thing that’s so fascinating about Homeopathic remedies is that it’s one remedy can work on so many different aspects of a persons life. 

As per usual in my life, it all leads back to my upbringing and family relationships. We know that I’ve made solid boundaries, but I still feel. Via homeopathy, I’ll be working in the sadness and anger when it comes to the family. 

Gosh, what else should we talk about. I’ve been meaning to do a whole post on adultery. Might as well get into it now. It’s a funny one because my thoughts and feelings on the matter have changed a lot over the years. Once upon a time. If people were cheating or having an affair, I would be interested in the story. I think I thought it gave the act more context etc. 

Now I don’t give a rats ass why someone has decided to have an emotional or physical affair. It’s pretty damn simple. If you’re not happy and you want to try your luck elsewhere then just be a fucking grownup and say so. Break up, get divorced, don’t be a sleazy heart breaker. 

I have a friend my age, married 2 kids and her husband is having an affair. Now I won’t go into any details other than tell you she is devastated and absolutely heartbroken. Is it really that hard (let’s not make pun jokes) for men and woman to keep in it their pants. Is that really that difficult. 

This brings me to something that I wrote about years ago. In the film when Harry met sally, Harry says that met and woman can’t be friends. What do you think?

I saw an account on instagram where a husband and wife said that the other person could not see friends of the opposite sex alone. They would have to accompany their spouse or there would have to be others there. I get it, and I can see how that can work for some. Frankly this couple were very good looking, fit and into their physical appearance. They were both extremely flirty beings too. I suppose this rule safe guards their relationship.

As for me, I hang out with guys just as much as I do with girls. Maybe even more so. I couldn’t imagine not seeing my male friends. 

Sunday July 19th 2026

So the gig was good. I was pretty tired so I choose to be in the back on a raised part. This gave me loads of space plus I could sit for most of it. 

Here are some of my observations from the evening. (I’ll skip the music critique - I’m a Richard Ashcroft fan)

Not a single person talked to me unless I started the conversation. Even then, I chose to almost not do that. I sure did miss Glastonbury where for some reason everyone is kinder to one another. Side note. On multiple Glastonbury festivals people have said to me, “I just don’t get it! Why can’t people be nice to each other like this all the time?”. Glastonbury is part of my soul. On a side note for perfect partner (and yes, there is no such thing as perfection) it says that he has Glastonbury tickets for us! Hehe is not even him and I. It’s for me and my friend who has gone with me every time. Obviously he’ll come too. 

Another observation from Friday night is how the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. As I quietly sat watching the opening bands and people watching, there was a group standing to my right drinking. There was about 8 of them and they would take turns getting rounds. As they finished their drinks they would just chuck the paper cup on the ground. Just like that. Straight on the ground. Now guys! There were loads and loads of bins everywhere. The range is me is soo deep, so so deep! The injustice wound is screaming. What’s wrong with these idiots! What is it about their entitlement that means it’s ok to litter like that. The worst part was as the dad was throwing his drinks tray to the ground, he clocked me watching him. He just looked at me and carried it on. Here is another big concern, I’m being serious now. I really, really, really wanted to pick up the rubbish. Did I want to clean up, am I that concerned about the environment, did I want a reaction from these dick heads, did I want to embarrass them, did I want to be embarrassed by others? Am I really that autistic? Holy shit! WTF!!!

Anyhow I didn’t do a thing other than fester. Bringing it back to the first part, the whole family are allergic to walking to a bin, so all of them just used the ground instead. This included his kids in their 20’s. 

This next part is an observation on love and how people express it. There was a couple behind me, I didn’t take much notice of them until he started yelling at her. She has returned after 20 minutes, she had gone to the loo miles away. So, in his rant to her, he’s complaining that she missed the good songs, he was worried, where did she go, why did it take so long etc. Had this man had the ability to tune into his nervous system, he could have just hugged her and said, “I’m glad you’re back. I got worried.” Is over reaction is based on love and everyone shows it in different ways. 

Choose which way you want to give it and receive it. I have zero, absolutely zero tolerance for anyone raising their voice to me. As humans we can get animated when we’re passionate about things or when we are trying to express something that is important. I get that, I just won’t accept it. I recently told a friend in conversation, no need to raise your voice. He clocked that and sorted it out right away. Side note - this is why I talk to my family for 60 minutes a month max. Aggressive, loud, spiteful is the default tone. No thanks.

I’m heading to a BBQ at 15:00. I know lot of people but don’t really gel well with many of them. I make the effort and it’s all cordial but they are not my people. Effort can be exhausting. I get on so well with the couple hosting which is the reason I’m going. 

Side note about the adultly stuff. This BBQ family have my spare key so I’m often there when I’ve locked myself out. Last month when this happened, it was day after I found out about my other friend and her husband cheating. So I asked BBQ couple to promise me that if the marriage doesn’t work out, get counselling or get divorced but don’t cheat. It’s just bad. The wife then immediately said, he drives me crazy but I love him and I would never do that. The husband then said to me, she never tells me she loves me and the then had a joking row. I then told him he needs to promise me, and he did. They are a funny bunch. Lots of love and lots of volume in their home. We are all so different. (I just personally know that volume disrupts my nervous system. I’m totally down with loud music, just not raised voices)

Oh and I made my famous delicious potato salad. Here is the recipe.

Small jersey royal potato’s or any small ones. Boil, let cool, chop, keep the skin on.

Helmann’s mayonnaise 

Spring onions

Celery chopped super small and fine

Black Pepper

Himalayan sea salt

Onion granules

Garlic powder 

It’s yum! I’ll add a picture if I remember 

Toodle-oo 

Post BBQ

On the way to Mr.Richmond’s flat. He’s away until Wednesday and I haven’t stayed there since January. I suspect this will be my last house sitting stint as there are lots of changes in his life. So I’ll make the most of the park, the Thames, the views, the solitude. 

Here are some observations from the BBQ. I also want to acknowledge my judgment. I’m really trying hard to observe, hold, move on. However I’m not really making fast progress in this department. 

Wonderful coach Renee is have a well deserved break with family. Often I leave her voice notes and she will give me things to reflect on. This is all part of her coaching agreement and her commitment to her clients. 

I’ll stop beating around the bush and just let it rip. 

Hello!!!! All of these girls (ok maybe not all - maybe 5) are on GLP1’s. So to be clear - this is a me problem, not them. Is taking the fat jab cheating. Am I jealous, am I envious, do I want to be skinnier? Why the fuck do I care what other people are doing or taking. Can I not just stay in my fucking lane. OR could it be that I’m deeply concerned of the very reported side effects of loss of bone density. Or how about Ozempic vagina. Oh yes! You heard me right, there is such a thing. Go on… Google it. No thank you! I’ll keep my body and my parts, just the way they are. 

Here is another observation from one of the BBQ guests. She doesn’t like, never has. That fine, that’s her problem. The good thing is now I’m calmer, better, stronger and I don’t put up with a sly dig or jab. I’ll be fast with my words. And I choose my words vs saying fuck off. 

So we are in the kitchen, off of the garden. She has just recently arrived at the BBQ. She asks me if I have seen the host. I tell her “(Host) is in the garden she’s wearing green.” She then says to me, “I know what Host looks like”. I then respond very quickly and say , “(her name), I’m not disputing that you don’t know what Host looks like, I was only trying to describe what she was wearing so it’s easier to pick her out.”

For fuck sake! What’s wrong with these woman! It’s not even hormones, some woman are just catty bitches. Or better yet, she likes to remind me that she still doesn’t like me! Guess what folks! I don’t give a fuck. Of all the people at the house today. Other than her parents and brother and parents. There was one other person who knows her longer than me. We have been friends for over 23 years! Enough said. 

More observations. Of the 11 woman there, only 4 wore summer dresses. I was one of them. I love a frock, they are so great! Come on woman. Embrace the feminine. I got a few nice compliments. This is growth. I’m now able to say. Thank you and smile. Old me, would say, of this dress, it’s only £19 from Primark. No…. This is not what I do now. I don’t deflect. I hold it. 

For my female readers…. Ladies. Take the compliments. 

I also got compliments on my hair. It was straighten and tied in a clip. The compliment was how it looked nice and so did the sliver gray streak. He then went on to say how nice it is to see someone age naturally. I would have to agree. Since I stopped colouring my hair over 3 years ago. It’s become more curly too. 

Flow & Taco Tuesday

Saturday July 11th 2026

​I’m starting this entry from my office aka the bathtub. I think if I was a millionaire I would have some sort of standing desk in a pool with a waterproof keyboard. I’m sure that sort of thing works. I know when I was working for the NHS we have these really clean keyboards that you would just wipe etc. 

The football is also on right now, house mate is watching and I’ll watch towards the end when it’s important. I’ve only ever lived in 2 countries; I can tell you that how England scores affects life on the street. Happy people vs sad people. 

Regardless of the footy, we get to choose how we want this precious life to play out. 

As mentioned in previous entries, I’ve fallen off the radar with the core folks. I still send the occasional text. One of them asked how I was doing etc. This was my response:

(Start of text)

Hey, thanks for the text. I’m mostly ok with the heat most nights. Even the days, I seem to be wearing lots of strapless bandeau dresses so it’s working. 

I spoke to my brother the day after the last text. It’s clear that my family think and do things very differently to me. 

We had a family call yesterday and it was even more evident that not only are we on 2 different paths, we are also moving further away. 

I don’t suspect there will be any change with my sister at all, she continues to be consumed with my father’s health and is planning another holiday. I come from a long line of avoidant people who run from their problems. 

I on the other hand, run towards my problems to resolve them. 

There is no right or wrong; there is no rule book. 

All I know is that I wish them well. I won’t be allowing their dramas to affect me any longer.

xx 

(text ends)

My new normal feels more, more and more like normal. It’s almost not even new anymore. It’s remarkable how we can shape our own lives. 

Let’s talk about flow, being in it, and what that looks like in my life. 

Coach Renee has been consistently telling me to clear my diary, just be, be still, and let things flow. My human design also explains that my life is much better when things to come to me. 

For the longest time I’ve been operating in my masculine. This is pretty normal behaviour if you are single and you have to do everything on your own. This is normal; I’m not criticising the way I’ve had to operate. I can’t be Barbie waiting for Ken to get on with it. However, there are moments every day when I don’t have to be doing all the time. I can’t see what happens. I don’t have to plan everything. I can be in flow.

Flow can look like so many things. I’ve lived with my housemate for the last 8 years now. I couldn’t tell you how this has happened but he cooks for me now. Like often. At least twice a week. He has completely transformed the house over the last few years. He fixes things, cuts the grass in the garden, vacuums. It’s bloody great! Keep in mind, I do plenty for him too. Maybe it’s just starting to be reciprocated. Who knows. 

Tuesday July 14th 2026

 I’m on my way to taco 🌮 Tuesday with Mr.Richmond. For the life of me, I can’t remember what he’s called on this blog. I last saw him post surgery in May. He drove across London to visit me. He’s a good apple. One of his best compliments to me, was the fact that he could never lie to me. I believe him too. Even when he knows I would be disappointed, he still tells me what he’s been upto. 

Taco Tuesday is also part of the flow. As mentioned in previous entries, I told the core group (4 people) that I won’t be social calendar 📅 diary secretary. Since then, there has not been a single get together. Some have made more of an effort, some less so. I’m remaining in flow with no judgment. If it’s meant to be, it will be. 

So Taco 🌮 Tuesday. I sent the restaurant details to the 4 of them. Then one came back to me. I said pick a Tuesday. The suggested Tuesday worked for me. Before I knew it, he made the restaurant reservation too! You have no idea how nice it is when the admin is done. It’s a delight. 

The restaurant was on the 15th floor so nice views of London. After 8 rounds of taco’s we then strolled around this beautiful city. The final part was a proper old fashioned pub. Spain 🇪🇸 was winning and I’m so happy for them. Let them enjoy this time. 

Until we meet again….

I still need to explain how great my Brighton trip was