The way it is according to moi

I would like to start with nothing makes any sense to me.  Everyday seems to be a bit of an opposite of the day before.  There are days where my theme song is I am a rock by Paul Simon. Listen to the lyrics. I don't need anyone.... I'm an island. Then the next day I'm all about Joe Cocker With a little help from my friends. (and for those music trivia buffs, I do know this song was a Beatles original. Joe did it better) Now ladies and gents, the million dollar question is... Do I need friends or do they continue to hurt me. Or is it me letting them affect me. I'm still working on this.  I have not really seen or spoken to A for over 2 months. It's sad and complicated. Other friends have really turned up which has been really nice. Really, really nice. This now brings me onto the next topic. I've said it on this blog a gazillion times but I'll say it again. It's something I was told on the Camino and it's so true.  There ar...

Its been a while! I was going to recap month by month but it’s just a bit dull. So here are the highlights. In May I found the most amazing Chinese doctor. I was seeing him weekly but I’m feeling so much better that I now go every 2 weeks and eventually I’ll see him less and less. For those of you that are skeptical of TCM Traditional Chinese Medicine, try it first. Yes acupuncture might not be that comfortable but I feel so much better. I end up having acupuncture, a massage and herbals teas if I need it. It’s making a massive difference. I went back to my happy place. Glastonbury … my true love. There is really nothing in the world that is as amazing as Glastonbury. I can never say it enough; everyone must try and go, It’s so special. A few days after that I went to Italy for 5 days to see Steph and the kids. At the time she was heavily pregnant, her daughter was born earlier this month. It was a good visit. Early August was the one year since Mark died. I decide...

Hello Hello So! Things at work and my health are kinda the same so we wont talk about that today. We will talk about how it’s been such a nice day despite a death. Yes, someone died today. Alison’s grandmother was 2 weeks short of her 90 th birthday and she died this morning. Very sad for Alison and the family. (The condolence card is in the post) But let me tell you all about the nice people that made today so great. Adam, David and Jane. Adam is work Adam, former manager and now just a good friend. Shame he lives at the other end of the country or else I would go visit him and his family more. I’ve been off sick since last Wednesday and made an appearance today. I sent Adam a longish email and he sent me a lovely reply. It’s always important to know that people care and that they are there for you. In life you don’t always need people to fix things, you just need kind people that care. Showing kindness is so easy. Thank you Adam xx I also returned to work with l...

So! We know why Steph has gone a bit AWOL. She is preggers with baby number 3. I'll go see her in August when the baby is born. When number 3 will be born her eldest will be about 5 1/2. This makes me think of Brat Face.  Brat Face is my brother, he is actually dashingly handsome and quite popular amongst many. I'm a fan most of the time but he is still a lazy brat.  Anyhow, this story is about him when he was a baby and toddler. I was 11 when he was born so I can remember all of it.  I hope most of you have seen new borns. They are kinda gross but if you are lucky that changes quickly. So this baby was really welcomed into our home. There was no jealousy really, my mom raised him with us. My dad was there too but I don't have very many memories of my dad when we (3 kids) were growing up. He worked a lot and did night shifts too. I can't complain too much, as we have aged, we see and speak to him a lot more. (Divorce may be a factor) I'm diverting, b...

Well… I survived the day. Dr.Ben was lovely, just like his voice. (He’s married  ) He listened to me for almost an hour and we went though my whole medical history. We went through each blood test one by one, he explained everything that he could. He was really sympathetic. Sometime you meet professionals and you almost know that you would be friends if the circumstances or situation were different. I kind of had that sense with this doctor. After we spoke we had a little chat about the Mark’s death and the inquest that would be taking place in a few hours. Anyhow… I might have had an actually diagnosis. I’m a little scary even writing it down but its ok. I’ll be ok. The doc is referring me to the Chronic Fatigue treatment and research unit at Kings College London. They have a specialist team and he thinks they might be able to help me. He was also really positive with all the steps that I have been doing. Eating relatively well and getting exercise when I can. We went th...

Fasten your seatbelt as this entry is probably going to be all over the place. Kind of the way my head is right now but not necessarily in a bad way. I just have a lot on plate. Some of it is nice too! I’m having a ‘Ladies who Lunch’ party this Sunday. I think we will be about 8. Each person will bring a dish and it will be fun. None of them know each other but they are all nice interesting people. What should I make? Think I’ll use my new cook book. I’m back to the hospital tomorrow to meet with Dr. Ben. He called me personally last week to arrange a day for me to come in. He told me not to worry. I’m not worried. Number 1, worrying is stupid. Number 2, Ben has a nice voice and why not trust a good voice and most importantly number 3, I have seen my blood results for the last 8 months. Things are improving. In January I went to the hospital twice for tests so its all good. I haven’t spoken to Steph in months and have had very little contact with her. I miss her bu...

Well! I'm home alone and talking to myself. Should I be worried?  Hell no, I'm talking to The Real World. You know, MTV's real world. I woke up with a progressed cold but it's shot back my recovery so I had to call in sick. (Legs hurt too) I've spent the day in bed watching TV. The real world is good trash if you want to loose a few brain cells. (I'm too smart to begin with) Laters Lx

The blogs I read are my family.  I feel a total genuine connection to most of these people. It a far nicer feeling than Facebook. As mentioned may times before I'm not on Facebook and its so good. Yes I don't know what everyone is liking and vice versa. If you want to know how I am then just ask. Reading someone else blog does just that.  Most of the time I can just log on and see how some of my favourite people are doing. Let me tell you a bit about them and how I found them. Just that in itself is a story. I haven't met any of these people yet but it won't surprise me one bit if I do one day.  It all started with breaking bad, yes you heard me right I was watching the TV show which I do recommend by the way. I was following Jessie better know as Aaron Paul on twitter when he talked about his casting agents blog.  This brought me to the most wonderful Dee Krass ( not her real...

So work is still up in the air. I have an employer but no job! I turned down the first offer taking a big gamble. I will have to accept my second offer despite what it is. I should get offer number 2 at the end of February. This feels like a long time away when I know it's not that loooong.  My colleagues on the other side of the floor have a possible vacancy. I like them, they like me, and I can do the job. The question is, who do I need to sleep with to get this job? Just joking kids, I don't play that way. (Probably because it wouldn't work, but it's also not my style)  My employers have some sort of system where the board meet monthly, discuss the 'displaced' and then offer them a department. They have canceled Januarys meeting so that's why I have to wait until Feb. When I started there years ago I was told by some idiots not to talk to the senior managers or anyone really who is higher on the totem pole . As soon as I was given this shitty advice,...

The Ideal bedroom would look something like this....  The plan is to have a really really big walk-in closet with everything else that I might need! I found it on Pinterest. I'm on Pinterest too, after having a quick glance, my Pinterest boards are far more girlie than I actually am... but who cares. I have good taste! I'm feeling so hopeful today!  Look at all the healthy veggies I bought this morning.  I think I might even give the  http://worldsbiggestjuicedetox.com a go. Why not? I'm not new to juicing so it shouldn't be that hard... Right?

So folks, 2014 is long gone and now onwards and upwards! I write this from the airport waiting lounge. I should have returned to London last night but British Airways made me an offer I couldn't resist. The gave me good old fashioned Stirling and bumped me up by a day. Not bad really. My folks only live about 20 minutes from the airport so it was no biggy for them to come back and get me. When I had left them earlier that evening there were a lot of tears.  My dad is going on a cruise for 4 months and he quite hard to reach when he is away.  My mom and I have had quite a ride with each other over the years and it hasn't been fun at all. In the last few months things have greatly improved. Maybe the best it's been in over a decade. When I hugged her goodby last night, I told her the best thing about getting sick was finding my mom again. Then in Leena fashion, I told her to stop being an idiot. (Come'on you can't always be nice!) My extra day today ha...