Missing… to miss

Is missing a verb? I’m pretty sure it is.

I can’t actually believe how much I miss Steph and vice versa. We both spent today feeling really sad. The boys at work were worried about me. Sad Leena is very very different to normal Leena and even more of a change to happy Leena. (Work is also getting me down big time) Steph and I can go almost a year without speaking. We just send whatsaps and emails, but we have a Skype date tomorrow.

I’ve always been a misser. I wouldn’t say that I live in the past, I live in the now. Despite this I still miss so many people, things, moments, memories, parts of my past. Some days I miss them more than others.

Missing must be like love because it feels different every time.

Do I miss her, the time we spent together, how she made me feel, how I made her feel… I think I miss it all.

On a slightly different note but still relevant, is our perceptions of ourselves. Why are we so hard on ourselves? I’m always going on about being kind to one another yet we fail to be kind to ourselves. My iphone email signature actually reads ‘ Be kind to one another”

I went to my first yoga class tonight since July 2013. I thought I was rubbish and Nita the teacher told me how well I did at the end of the class. At the beginning of the class I told her that I was worried because I’ve gained weight, she actually told be I looked good and she thought I had lost some. Who knows… but why do I care! I don’t know.

This evening soundtrack is a few songs from the album Caustic Love by Paolo Nuttini followed by Beauty by the Shivers on loop. Its just a beautiful song