Skip to main content

My cup

​Just wanted to come on and say hi. 

I’ve been lying low recently, more than normal. There are a few reason for this. One is my health, it’s been so up and down (for ever) and the trick is to just listen to my body and rest. I’ve had so many acutes that my body doesn’t even know what normal feels like. I had to say, thank goodness was for TV, Films, Books and podcasts. 


Another reason why I’m still in hibernation despite it being Spring is that it costs so much to go out. Even a walk into town results in an expense, eggs, bread, chai etc. Luckily I can afford these things, I’m just trying to spend less and only make purchases that are really a necessity. A pro of being more mindful with my money, is that financial pressures will be easing up soon. Hooray for that! 


I had a massive download last night. Here I go. So if I was a cup, all the work, therapy, coaching etc has helped to identify and fill-in, any holes, so that my cup no longer has leaks. This is now complete! Yippee 🙌 Hooray 🥳


(I’m still getting to the download) Over the years I’m done major work on my inner voice. That’s the voice in your head that can tell you, you’re shit or that you’re fucking amazing. It’s also the voice that should be telling you doily that you love you. 


So last night when I was wishing myself good night, and telling myself that I love me. I could see / feel this daily exercise is also scanning my cup for holes, leaks, cracks. It’s a like daily self assessment. And because things are looking good, my cup is getting stronger and stronger. Think of it as a thin paper cup that had turned into steel over time. 


And just incase you didn’t already know. My cup has always been half full, but now it’s getting fuller and fuller. Eventually my cup will be so full that it will overflow into the cup of my beloved. Watch this space 


Xxxx

Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Should have declined the call

Holy fuckeroo! I wanted to end the month of May with other blog worthy topic but I had a call a few hours ago that I need to write about.  From the last entry you’ll see that my dad was in the A&E with a UTI. Then the following week my sister was rushed to the A&E with a pseudo brain tumor. She had gone for a routine eye test and they saw something. Fast forward blood tests, CT scans, MRI, lumbar puncture, neurological doctors and more optometrists. She will survive! (she has Idiopathic Intracranial Hypertension) She can’t change her gender (let’s not go there), or her age, but she can change her weight and get to a healthy BMI. I have thoughts on that too but she is choosing to take meds with side effects while working on her weight.  Her body, her life, her decisions. She’s been trying to help my dad pack. He moves out of his house of 30 years. I’ve declined flying across the pond. My bro who is 5 hours away has also opted no. So my sister and my father’s ex wif...
Post a Comment
Read more

Oh no… this isn’t great but maybe it is.

​ Oh no people! I had other things I wanted to talk about today but this entry has been trumped by recent events. My sister called my mom over to her place and asked my mom to drive her to the ER of the local psych hospital. This is good, this is also sad.  Sad for so so many reason. (PS. Please skip this entry if it’s too triggering) I apologise now for going off tangent.  Over a decade ago in the UK I had a male friend who was not doing well at all. He was in a UK psych ward. When the staff were looking he managed to take his own life.  As per the hospital where my sister is at. We once had a family friend whose adult son was not doing well. He was going to the psych hospital daily for treatment but really needed to be an inpatient. They didn’t have the space to keep him in. Sadly one evening at home, he took his life.  I have strong feelings about the Hospital where my sister is at. Where to start…. My first job at 16 was at McDonalds. I worked a lot despite being...
Post a Comment
Read more

My nervous system and an hour later

​ Well hay there, where have you been? So I’ve just journaled, this will be my new thing. Do you know for the last 15 years people have been telling me to do this. Even when I’ve seen mediums, it’s one of the things they have said.  Anyhow, I’m writing this from my second home. To be honest it feels like my primary residence, but it’s not. It’s a flat that belongs to a mate who lets me stay when he is away. He is away a lot. I’ve actually lost count now of how many times I’ve stayed. I even have my family meet me here for local walks and the rest.  Tonight, I seem to have thrown my rattle. Or did I throw out the baby with the bath water. Whichever the saying is. I’ve behaved badly. I’ll probably have to explain myself later.  The story, whenever I’m here, if it’s cold, all I need to do to move the mobile thermostat to the windowsill and then the heating kicks in. Tonight it didn’t and man have I been in a fucking panic. Now seriously Leena, get a grip. -1 is cold but I am...
Post a Comment
Read more