May, June & July

Its been a while!

I was going to recap month by month but it’s just a bit dull. So here are the highlights.

In May I found the most amazing Chinese doctor. I was seeing him weekly but I’m feeling so much better that I now go every 2 weeks and eventually I’ll see him less and less. For those of you that are skeptical of TCM Traditional Chinese Medicine, try it first. Yes acupuncture might not be that comfortable but I feel so much better. I end up having acupuncture, a massage and herbals teas if I need it. It’s making a massive difference.

I went back to my happy place. Glastonbury… my true love. There is really nothing in the world that is as amazing as Glastonbury. I can never say it enough; everyone must try and go, It’s so special.

A few days after that I went to Italy for 5 days to see Steph and the kids. At the time she was heavily pregnant, her daughter was born earlier this month. It was a good visit.

Early August was the one year since Mark died. I decided I didn’t want to be at work so I took the day off. It was a really sunny day and nice day. Since he’s died I really only think about the good stuff. His younger brother and I will meet up for dinner in early September. I will be the third time I’ve met him. At least this visit will be a bit more normal. The first time was at Mark’s funeral and the second was at Mark coroners’ inquest into his death.

Seeing I’ve just brought up Marks death this brings me to a suicide related event. A few weeks ago I accompanied a friend to a SOBS open day. SOBS stands for Survivors of Bereavement of suicide. The friend I went with lost her fiancé to suicide. We’ve known each other a long time so she was comfortable to ask me to come along for support. It was lovely but sooo strange. Imagine being in a room with about 80 people that have lost someone to suicide. Everyone had a colored badge on, each color represented if that person was a parent, partner, spouse, child, sibling or friend of someone that had taken their own life. It was heavy. I pray that none of you reading this ever have to go though such a horrible experience. The London group use to meet monthly and now they have to meet every 2 weeks as there are so many people coming. What’s happening to the world?

There was a presention done by Angela Samata. She made a documentary on the BBC in March 2015, its called Life after Suicide, its on youtube  I highly recommend it. Yes it’s not a happy topic but mental health affects us all. She interviews family members of the deceased. She herself lost her husband to suicide. At the end of the afternoon those who wanted to chat could meet up at the local pub. We were talking about a few things for a few minutes, she was sooo nice to me. She told me how I was a gorgeous wonderful person and hugged me. Humans just amaze me sometimes. She has been though so much and can still see the beauty in me and in life. Amazing, just amazing.

There was a lot of people there and I wish I could tell you their stories but I cant. I know you understand.

Oh and the most important thing I leaned was from the documentary itself. It was about the state of the persons mind when they choose to take their own life. It shed some light into Mark’s state of mind. There is this professor in Glasgow who has been doing work inthe field. Watch the documentary.

The above is the recap. I can’t believe that we are in the middle of august. I honestly don’t know where time has gone this summer.

Here is a little bit of the current. My dad’s brother died last week, I wrote the obit for my dad. I really am the best! No I’m not, but I wanted do something to help him and seeing I’m so far away it’s all I could do.

Lots of really nice things are happening these days. Small things but they all make a difference.

The other day I went to a department store to purchase a suitcase and finish the collection. I had the hand luggage and the largest suitcase but needed the middle one. Well I was really too late because the line has been discontinued. This nice girl checked the systems and managed to find me one in the middle of the country but they would send it to me free of change. On top of that it was on sale too!

The locks to my front door stopped working so I had to get the emergency locksmith out. An expensive day, trust me. While the locksmith was working on the door I was sitting on my stairs having a chat with him. I mentioned that I wanted to put up a picture but needed an extra set of hands. Just as he was about to leave he asked to see the picture and where I wanted it. He kindly put the picture up. I had no money on me but I offered to nip out and get cash or transfer some money to him. He declined both and said it was ok. How is nice is that. Its just soooo easy to be kind. I offered him tea and drinks as soon as he walked in. All the world needs is tea.

This now brings me all the way up to this weekend. Last night I went to a BBQ, somehow I was there for almost 12 hours. It was a bit slow to begin with and I was more or less ready to go after a few hours and then I didn’t. Let me explain, from as soon as I got there I was standing the whole time. I should have just sat down but the only people I knew were standing so my options were to sit alone like a loner or stand and talk to people.

The host of the BBQ works for Google. Google have a policy where they will match the amount of money raided for a charity so it was chairty BBQ to raise money for https://www.savetherhino.org

Anyhow, the host has been having annual BBQ’s for years now, sadly though I haven’t been able to make them for the last few years so the last time I went to her BBQ was 5 years ago. At first I was quite disappointed with how this BBQ was going. Everyone seemed be having a nice time but a lot had changed in 5 years. The crowd was older and everyone was just more or less talking to people they knew, it was very clicky. There wasn’t any real mingling. Its either that or none of them were drunk enough.

I suppose that I’m pleased about 2 things. The first was I finally sat down on the grass and felt so much better, that led to other great thing. I ended up talking to other people that were nearby. I then spent the rest of my night walking around looking for a spare seat and striking up a conversation with fascinating people. It was a great night. (Also my night bus journey was so smooth. The bus wasn’t full of drunks nor did it stink of puke)

I should really sign off but I’ve been trying to think of what else I’ve been doing for the last few months. It’s not the most exciting but its really rewarding. I have been sorting out loads of things of things at home. Every week now for weeks the recycling bin has been full. I’m throwing so much out. My bedroom is almost tidy! I called my mom the other day and said now that its really clean and organized what on earth am I going to do with all this time? She replied, find a man and have some babies. Thanks mom!

Last but not least, what have I been listening to?

Lots and lots of Tangentially Speaking by Chris Ryan. This is podcast that I highly recommended.  He has a series called TOMA talking out of my ass. Its true stories about his life, he really is someone that you want to bump into and just start talking to.

When I’m not listening to him and other podcasts such as The Moth I’m really loving everything that The Maccabees have ever done. Their 4^th album was just released a few weeks ago. Its fantastic

Hope you are all well

Lxx