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I miss my friend

I miss my friend and I’m sad. I’m even too sad to send her a whatsap as I know she feels the same way. When I landed I looked at flights to go back next month but they are too expensive. I would even fly a budget airline but still pricey.

I should probably be telling her this and not you (people on the web). I’m quite a wise one and I know Steph got a lot out of our chats. She had a load of light bulb moments, epiphanies and realisations. We both kinda ran away from our former lives, and I love that we have known each other in our former life aswell as the current. 

She also gave me one the best compliments of my life. I really should actually tell her this. The other night she told me how I have such great awareness of myself, my life and others. Its true and its taken bloody long and hard to get here but I’m in a really good place. Its nice for someone that has known me most of my life to see this and to tell me straight.

It amazes me how sometimes I can be so affected by someone’s passing comment. I’ll always play it down or pretend its no big deal, but it is a big deal. Last year I received a comment that actually brought me to tears because it hurt so much. I cried at home kids, nobody saw. (to me it’s the meanest thing anyone has ever said to me) I was told that I’m like marmite; you either love me or hate me. Now I know I should get thicker skin and not be so sensitive but the thought that people hate me hurts.

Anyhow… its bed time now (or an episode of Orange is the new black)

Soundtrack to this entry as I type is Vivaldi.

Last nights entry actually ended with some Radiohead.

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