When the body says no.

This is a short entry. This is the email I sent my mother today. 

Hi, I hope this finds you well. 


I’ve decided to write to you so that you have time to yourself to read at your own leisure vs talking a call. 


For the last 4 years now I have actively set firm boundaries that work for me, my health and my nervous system. I know from an outsider’s point of view they may seem harsh or odd. 


All I am able to commit to is 1 x 60 minutes group family call a month. When it come to in-person engagement, an annual family holiday, I am open to once a year with lots of planning many, many months in advance. 


The words that you spoke on Monday have brought me to this conclusion that I don’t believe you should come visit me, stay with me, see me. I’m not in a position to put myself at risk. You said quite a lot on Monday. You may have spoken in haste, anger, emotion etc. However you can not undo what you said. Nor do I want you to. 


I have pointed out what does not work for me in previous visits and the same things continue to happen so this is the best scenario. Stopping the opportunity before it can happen. 


I’m sorry if you find this difficult 

Moi.


- Her response was: No problem, I understand.


Guess what folks! 

Time for me to get on with my life and sort out my health. 

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