I might as well

Location: Brixton Academy waiting for Stephen Wilson Jr. to come onto stage. 

Also writing to you is distracting me from shopping on vinted, so I mighty as well write.

Have I told you my recent obsession of big LL Bean clothing. It’s a USA company based in Maine. It’s very versatile clothing, comfortable. Every once in a while I get homesick for North America. I also know what’s triggered this recent walk down memory lane. 

It’s all the mother family crap. Reminds me of what I left and the few tiny memories of when things were ok. 

Last week I also bought Disney bed sheets. Yes you heard me right. Little fucked really. Thank God for coach Renee who calls me out. She’s firm but friendly. She reminds me what the route of my behaviour is. 

I did treat myself to some of the old memory lane stuff. Have you ever had strawberry Nesquik. It’s pure sugar and will probably kill me faster than my terrible diet. It’s also like a warm hug when life has been particularly tricky. Nothing bad is happening, more of a realisation that nothing in my life will really change until I change first.

The mission continues, hibernation starts again on the 25th

Back to the drink. It’s yummy and try it. (PS. It’s 28 day wait at Tesco’s)

I feel like I’m ready now to tell you more about the Sunday with Alize Timmerman. Honest conversations in the world of homeopathy is mind blowing. 🤯 I can’t wait to start training and eventually be able to explain homeopathy more clearly. For now I’ll attempt. 

It’s like every remedy has a blueprint of the person that needs it. Each person has their own blueprint too. Eventually it’s like layers and puzzle 🧩 pieces. 

I took so many notes last week, I won’t say what the remedy is here (go pay a homeopath) but I will tell you about the different kind of clients that homeopathy can help. 

He is a hint 🫆 

It can help us all. 

So many people have stuff where it doesn’t warrant a doctor and they aren’t willing to see a therapist. Nonetheless, shits going down in their life. 

• men who seek prostitution, not for sex but to be held, touched, embraced.
• Woman who will go to a bar / club to pick up and get pregnant when they know it’s not right but they desperately have this urge to procreate. 
• Girls who cut and self harm. 
• The root of psoriasis and eczema

22:00 🕙 on the Vicky heading home. 

Aka, just left Brixton and on the Victoria line. 

As usual, but not surprising. We shall detour and talk about the gig. If I have energy, I’ll end with updates on Dementia dad, I know you’re all itching for an update.

Ok! Let’s talk about Stephen. Let’s also talk about Stephen vs Steven. For the Stephen in my life, I sometimes make jokes and call them Step-Hen….. and you are correct. Thank god she’s not a comedian.

So when it comes to artists these days and people that are perusing their passion, one I commend them and two I want to know their story. I need to feel a connection, empathy, joy, pride, something. Gone are the days that I just like someone’s sound. 

Podcasting for me has made my mission much easier. Most of everything I learned about Stephen Wilson Jr today I had already heard on a podcast, though grateful he shared lots for the audience today. (I’m pondering now, do I recap his bio, tell you why I like him, or send you to the podcast)

Long fast, long short, you know, the saying that’s I’ve just mangled. 

Stephen Wilson Jr is his father’s son. (The best is when Theo Von asked him what. His dad’s name was. Stephen is very kind and mentioned junior again. Then Theo got it)

How about this for a crazy side not, if I could have a load of people, past and present, I would probably have Theo Von there. I would also have Scott Galloway and James Sexton there too!

Ok so when Stephen dad died he cried almost daily for 2 years, the gigs are dedicated to his dad, and his father’s final wishes for Stephen to peruse his dreams. 

What also happens to me when I see normal folk love their parents or mourn their parents, my brain 🧠 says to me. Oh! But you don’t. 

Yes thats brain, heart and soul. I’m mostly grateful for this life / existence then I have to tell Little Moi that I didn’t get basic needs met as a child and 100% not as an adult. ( let’s give you 2 speedy examples. My mother who never ever see’s me, choosing to play games on her iPhone sitting next to me, vs taking to me. My dad looses his shit so fast while I’m driving or in the car that I fear for my life. These are not normal, good or acceptable behaviours) so yes! I’m the girl who has a fragmented family relationship. 

On a happier note! Stephen Wilson Junior and senior loved each other very much. 

Let’s go with more judgy thoughts. Men need to shave 🪒 the back of their neck more. Some necks are really gross. It’s not just the face / beard that needs attending. Check out what’s going on back there. 

Also please can we talk about body odour! WTF boys and men. Winter is on its way, I don’t want you to all die of hypothermia, coats are allowed…. BUT if you think you’re going to get hot and sweaty and you might be around other humans (or especially me, seeing the world revolves around me) please, please wear non toxic deodorant and do laundry regularly. This is my public service announcement for you!

Incase you’re wondering, was I sitting next to a smelly ish man. The answer was yes. 

I’ve also concluded that there is zero point now to look for a husband with my eyes, it’s all down to my nose and pheromones.

Here is another important public service announcement that has actual science behind it. (Unlike all my other theories LOL). Woman who are on hormonal contraception, such as the pill, will choose / accept different partners / lovers then if they weren’t on anything. 

And then you wonder why couples can’t get pregnant after being together for a while and now trying. Why not look at how long she was on the pill for. Also maybe his smell doesn’t seem the same anymore. That’s because it’s not. 

It must be tangent Thursday. I’ll reel my in and tell you about dementia dad.

There is little improvement and his need to go on holiday is a daily thing. 2 days ago he booked himself on a cruise, got all the paperwork and had 24 hours or so to pay. He then comes back to the family chat to seek approval. 

Maybe my need to seek approval comes from him. When I think of my dad I get sad. He got dealt the shittiest deck of cards. Despite this, it doesn’t give him the right to treat me badly. 

So the cruise, my sister then sends an email that is pure bulling to him. It’s mean, nasty, harsh, cruel. I get she care about him but her method and words say something really different. In the past I’ve shared snippets and texts but I can’t even bring myself to go back and read through it again. She more or less wrote a list of things that he needs to do etc. 

This is how I see it, my dad worked very hard and was very very frugal. He was also good with his money and wanted to provide for his kids. I deeply believe that he does want something to go to us when he dies. I also believe that he worked hard enough to enjoy is life, travel, see the world etc. We all know that’s my mother’s pastime. The issue is his vulnerability, autism and dementia. He’s been catfished so many times. He still wants to be rich so if anyone is selling him and sort of path, dream, investment, timeshare, crypto, he WILL listen. Then there his lack of social queues, picking up on nuances, noticing of something is off. That I think is him being further on the spectrum than the majority. Lastly, as I’ve probably mentioned before, my dad is sooo scared of dying and hates pain. Although I almost never look at the family chat and try not to engage. There is weekly messages of him being in pain sitting, then forgetting to sit on the doughnut 🍩 ring. If I’m going to be a homeopath and I’m very much a heterosexual, I probably need to know more about prostates. 

Time to wrap it up with a little more of ‘if I ruled the world’ boys men over the age of ten are banned from wearing  jogging bottoms, track suit bottoms unless they are on a field. Also running shoes are tacky unless running or it’s converse or Adidas. I absolutely hate designer running shoes too. Gucci, Prada, Hugo Boss. All yuk! There normal men’s shoes are fine but no when it comes to running shoes. This final rant has been brought to you by moi v just seeing an instagram post. 

Another reason why the instagram and me relationship must end