A funeral for Hope

This won’t be the longest entry but I need to plan a funeral for Hope. 

Hope is not a person, and parts of hope will live on forever in me. But all or any hope I’ve ever had for a mother, who can mother is dead. It’s been dead and cold for a long long time. I’ve just been dancing with a corpse (Hope) for twenty years too long. 


Homeopath Maggie said something today that was so profound today. There is no space or room for me to be in a healthy loving relationship because I’m still in a relationship of hoping my mom will change. 


So now I want to plan a funeral for Hope. I’m serious and genuine. Think about kids who have funerals for goldfish and use a matchbox for a coffin. ⚰️ That’s my aim. 


You know what else, maybe I’ll even go to a church or a cathedral on Sunday. Let’s go big and dramatic. I would offer to wear one of my many sexy black dresses but I’m still 2 stone overweight. At least 30lbs. I could wear a bin bag but now I’m being overdramatic and cruel to myself. I will loose this weight once I put this mother stuff to rest. 


So watch this space. I’ll report back with what I do. Probably a note in match box. 


Side note. It’s 22:22 that’s God saying yes! 


Maybe I’ll light an incense in a park. I’ll defoe light a candle 🕯️ in the church and outside too. 


Yep! That’s the plan


I’m saying goodbye to hope. This is sad, so so sad.


Necessary too x


Pic made by Claude AI

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