The way it is according to moi

Sorry that I didn’t post as planned. I was basing this on the cruise where I had time to myself every night in the cabin to unwind before bed.   New York was not that. I was out walking daily and ended my evenings almost comatose. I waked about between 20 to 40 thoughts steps a day. That’s a lot for these teeny tiny size 36 feet (35 in heels 👠 in case anyone is shopping of me) PS. Girls and boys, learn your European shoe size. Stay cool.  So I’ve been back from the big apple for 5 full days. Maybe this delay integration has been necessary. Before i get into New York magic, let’s talk about the other regular characters in my life.  Housemate is good and home life continues to be smooth sailing. He continues to cook for me and feed me! I continue to do a bunch of the pink jobs and he does the blue ones. Remember there is very little conversation here, it’s just working. You would hope so after living together for 8 years. He’s also got better at saying thank you. Unfortuna...

​ Oh no people! I had other things I wanted to talk about today but this entry has been trumped by recent events. My sister called my mom over to her place and asked my mom to drive her to the ER of the local psych hospital. This is good, this is also sad.  Sad for so so many reason. (PS. Please skip this entry if it’s too triggering) I apologise now for going off tangent.  Over a decade ago in the UK I had a male friend who was not doing well at all. He was in a UK psych ward. When the staff were looking he managed to take his own life.  As per the hospital where my sister is at. We once had a family friend whose adult son was not doing well. He was going to the psych hospital daily for treatment but really needed to be an inpatient. They didn’t have the space to keep him in. Sadly one evening at home, he took his life.  I have strong feelings about the Hospital where my sister is at. Where to start…. My first job at 16 was at McDonalds. I worked a lot despite being...

​ Today has been a lot harder for no particular reason other than it’s a lot. It makes me think of life partners and spouses. Finding a person who you can be with at the same time is not actually doing things. I see so many couples that keep so busy, that that’s the way they survive. I also think it’s why some people stay together. They know how to live with that other person, and any change is too much. They aren’t always happier but the change is a step too far.   I’m digressing and going on a tangent.  Several hours later. I’ll give you bulet points  my mom pre paid for a photo package of 20 digital prints. 154 pictures were taken, I gave up helping them choose. My mom paid so really I think her say is good enough. My dad was melting on the outdoor decks and near the pool. He then went to change and came back in some questionable shorts. I asked him why he didn’t wear swimming shorts / trunks and he said he didn’t want to go into the water. Fair enough. Then he said, I...

​ I went to sleep last night listening to a podcast about morning light and your circadian rhythm. So this blog entry is being written while watching the sun rise. (Also I don’t wear sunglasses, do your research and read about the correlation between skin cancer and sunglasses) Day 5 Aruba. I woke up and went to the gym. I lasted 15 minutes. This is not something to phone home about but it’s something. It’s the pesky air conditioning and I could feel in my throat, it was starting to hurt. Exercising with a scarf is not a thing. Maybe it should be.  Then my mom braided to French braids on my wet hair. The lady can’t help her self with the comments (I’m aware the apple hasn’t fallen that far from the tree). She said that I looked like a Mexican school girl. What does one do with these random comments your whole life. You just say ok. She then says, it’s a not a bad thing.  The next move is when it all turned to shit. Wet hair close to scalp and in air conditioning in the breakfa...

​ Well folks, I write ✍️ this on day 2 of the family cruise. Today is a see day and it’s 2pm. I’m just having a rest and writing to you. It’s very cathartic and almost a form of journaling.   Yesterday was tough, mostly due to my overthinking and putting unnecessary expectations. Something as simple as me thinking that a shopping trip to target and Walmart was going to change the world. I should have just gone into it, and take it for what it is. Sadly I then look at obesity and people in mobile scooter wheel chair things and my mind starts to worry about the world and state of affairs. I also hadn’t slept for a long time.  Once we were settled on the ship I dished out all the gifts. Again, I put unnecessary false expectations that they would live what I got them. They appreciated the gifts but that was it.  I got some unexpected gifts too. My sister bought me a really nice black swimsuit, a hair band that matches hers and some starburst. She remembers me liking them....