Friday August 28th 2026
Well, well, well.
This cough that I’ve had has been rough. I’ve managed to survive without any pharmaceuticals but it has been hard. So much rest and homoeopathy. I’ve also cancelled so many plans and skipped gigs too. Oh well.
I still have a bee in my bonnet at the moment when it comes to friends, invitations and responses.
One way of looking at it, is that people are being honest and unfiltered. You could say that I’m the one who has a problem. That’s quite accurate really.
This week a friend texted me about a gig in September 2027. I don’t know the artist so I said I’ll think about it. She goes on to explain that another friend of hers has bought a ticket, but this friend doesn’t want to sit alone.
To quote “ I’m a chicken and I won’t sit alone.”
WTF - are you being serious 🧐. You’re asking me to go because you don’t want to go alone. What????
Knowing me, being with me is a privilege. I’m not a stop gap, I’m not a filler, I’m not a seat warmer.
The way I’m feeling these days, even if I liked the artist, I would suggest they sit together and I buy the single ticket. I rather be with my own company.
Guys! Maybe this is a phase or maybe this is the new me. Either way, people are going to have to lump it or like it. Truthfully, I’m probably not even going to be around to know. I’m not dying or anything that dramatic. It’s just that this ship is sailing ⛵️
I was due to see this same friend on Thursday for a gig. With no energy, I chose to take care of me, and go to bed at 19:30 🕢. Earlier in the day when I called to explain that I won’t be attending the gig, she asked to make plans in the near future. I explained that I’m not available until December and she countered with; December being busy, so January 2027 it is.
Saturday, August 29th 2026 - Continued
To carry on from the above and without jinxing it… I somehow feel that I’m going to have a new life next year. Everything is going to be different. A new reinvention, an evolution of who I was, who I’m becoming, something shiny and new.
Today has been a hard day, for no good reason. I feel so stuck in a rut, and I think I’m a bit worried about the changes I want to implement. What’s crazy is that these changes are things that I actually want to do. I just wish they weren’t so difficult.
This next part is so embarrassing… you must be thinking… what is she on about. This is going to sound like a joke but its not.
I want to take a BIG pause on all social media and TV. That’s it, that’s the big truth bomb. Feel free to laugh out loud, know that I’m laughing and crying inside. Mostly because I have ALOT of time on my hands and social media and TV/Film is my BIG adult pacifier/suss/ dummy. (Why are there so many words for the same thing).
Let’s get into TV. I was raised by a television, partly because my parents didn’t know better and partly because they were busy doing other things. I also lived my life in all the shows; I have the most vivid imagination you can think of. Last night I created new episodes and plot twists of the shows I had watched in the previous days. When you mind escapes the way mine does, its a form of abandoning myself. DOING the WORK is HARD. Watching shit TV and Film is easy. I should give myself some credit here; I actually watch great TV shows, the stuff that wins awards.
Now the social media part will be interesting. There are strangers on the internet who I feel so aligned with, they are my imaginary tribe. When you are me and you think outside of the box, knowing someone else thinks the same way feels like a great big hug. Instagram is also the place where I found coach Renee. She is having her surgery on Monday, so I would still check in daily but its more like 10 minutes a day of dedicated, concentrated time.
I was baout to order this device called BRICK but i’m afraid that I’m too smart and it may not work. Lets see how teh next few days go and if I need to order a BRICK i will.
I will still listen to audiobooks and podcasts. Just no television, films and social media. If I need to catchup, I can do that in December and over Christmas.
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