The way it is according to moi

​ Today has been a lot harder for no particular reason other than it’s a lot. It makes me think of life partners and spouses. Finding a person who you can be with at the same time is not actually doing things. I see so many couples that keep so busy, that that’s the way they survive. I also think it’s why some people stay together. They know how to live with that other person, and any change is too much. They aren’t always happier but the change is a step too far.   I’m digressing and going on a tangent.  Several hours later. I’ll give you bulet points  my mom pre paid for a photo package of 20 digital prints. 154 pictures were taken, I gave up helping them choose. My mom paid so really I think her say is good enough. My dad was melting on the outdoor decks and near the pool. He then went to change and came back in some questionable shorts. I asked him why he didn’t wear swimming shorts / trunks and he said he didn’t want to go into the water. Fair enough. Then he said, I...

​ I went to sleep last night listening to a podcast about morning light and your circadian rhythm. So this blog entry is being written while watching the sun rise. (Also I don’t wear sunglasses, do your research and read about the correlation between skin cancer and sunglasses) Day 5 Aruba. I woke up and went to the gym. I lasted 15 minutes. This is not something to phone home about but it’s something. It’s the pesky air conditioning and I could feel in my throat, it was starting to hurt. Exercising with a scarf is not a thing. Maybe it should be.  Then my mom braided to French braids on my wet hair. The lady can’t help her self with the comments (I’m aware the apple hasn’t fallen that far from the tree). She said that I looked like a Mexican school girl. What does one do with these random comments your whole life. You just say ok. She then says, it’s a not a bad thing.  The next move is when it all turned to shit. Wet hair close to scalp and in air conditioning in the breakfa...

​ Family breakfast conversation was a heavy and deep so it’s nice to have time alone wrote now to write. In the past I’ve been writing this blog from my state cabin room. This time I’ve picked a different spot.   In text chat my sister has been eluding to the fact I should be doing more for the care of my dad etc. She asked the question again today with everyone around if I would be “stepping up, doing my part.” I am most pleased to say the answer is no. I didn’t even feel the need to go into great reason of why not etc.  She had a cry about her failing health and the responsibility she has etc. I have no interest in dishing out sympathy or empathy. I kindly reminded her that she has taken on these positions and “roles” as a choice. She a can equally put them down. I reminded her that she has not put on her own seatbelt and now she is feeling the repercussions.  She made a point of letting my parents know that she has intentionally not got her divers license because she d...

​ Well folks, I write ✍️ this on day 2 of the family cruise. Today is a see day and it’s 2pm. I’m just having a rest and writing to you. It’s very cathartic and almost a form of journaling.   Yesterday was tough, mostly due to my overthinking and putting unnecessary expectations. Something as simple as me thinking that a shopping trip to target and Walmart was going to change the world. I should have just gone into it, and take it for what it is. Sadly I then look at obesity and people in mobile scooter wheel chair things and my mind starts to worry about the world and state of affairs. I also hadn’t slept for a long time.  Once we were settled on the ship I dished out all the gifts. Again, I put unnecessary false expectations that they would live what I got them. They appreciated the gifts but that was it.  I got some unexpected gifts too. My sister bought me a really nice black swimsuit, a hair band that matches hers and some starburst. She remembers me liking them....