Adultry, Affairs, Observations

Friday July 17th 2024 - Alexandra Palace Park

I have an hour until Richard Ashcroft come onto the stage. I’m also alone so nobody to talk to. This is not Glastonbury where so many people actually go in their own. I personally don’t see that very much at outdoor gigs and other festivals. It’s cool though, I’ve been to this park many a time in my life so really I feel like I’m in my back garden. 

I saw my homeopath this morning, this was our 4th appointment this year. She’s been practicing as a homeopath for 30 plus years and she’s very good. Every time I see her I get more excited about starting my training to become a homeopath. The thing that’s so fascinating about Homeopathic remedies is that it’s one remedy can work on so many different aspects of a persons life. 

As per usual in my life, it all leads back to my upbringing and family relationships. We know that I’ve made solid boundaries, but I still feel. Via homeopathy, I’ll be working in the sadness and anger when it comes to the family. 

Gosh, what else should we talk about. I’ve been meaning to do a whole post on adultery. Might as well get into it now. It’s a funny one because my thoughts and feelings on the matter have changed a lot over the years. Once upon a time. If people were cheating or having an affair, I would be interested in the story. I think I thought it gave the act more context etc. 

Now I don’t give a rats ass why someone has decided to have an emotional or physical affair. It’s pretty damn simple. If you’re not happy and you want to try your luck elsewhere then just be a fucking grownup and say so. Break up, get divorced, don’t be a sleazy heart breaker. 

I have a friend my age, married 2 kids and her husband is having an affair. Now I won’t go into any details other than tell you she is devastated and absolutely heartbroken. Is it really that hard (let’s not make pun jokes) for men and woman to keep in it their pants. Is that really that difficult. 

This brings me to something that I wrote about years ago. In the film when Harry met sally, Harry says that met and woman can’t be friends. What do you think?

I saw an account on instagram where a husband and wife said that the other person could not see friends of the opposite sex alone. They would have to accompany their spouse or there would have to be others there. I get it, and I can see how that can work for some. Frankly this couple were very good looking, fit and into their physical appearance. They were both extremely flirty beings too. I suppose this rule safe guards their relationship.

As for me, I hang out with guys just as much as I do with girls. Maybe even more so. I couldn’t imagine not seeing my male friends. 

Sunday July 19th 2026

So the gig was good. I was pretty tired so I choose to be in the back on a raised part. This gave me loads of space plus I could sit for most of it. 

Here are some of my observations from the evening. (I’ll skip the music critique - I’m a Richard Ashcroft fan)

Not a single person talked to me unless I started the conversation. Even then, I chose to almost not do that. I sure did miss Glastonbury where for some reason everyone is kinder to one another. Side note. On multiple Glastonbury festivals people have said to me, “I just don’t get it! Why can’t people be nice to each other like this all the time?”. Glastonbury is part of my soul. On a side note for perfect partner (and yes, there is no such thing as perfection) it says that he has Glastonbury tickets for us! Hehe is not even him and I. It’s for me and my friend who has gone with me every time. Obviously he’ll come too. 

Another observation from Friday night is how the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. As I quietly sat watching the opening bands and people watching, there was a group standing to my right drinking. There was about 8 of them and they would take turns getting rounds. As they finished their drinks they would just chuck the paper cup on the ground. Just like that. Straight on the ground. Now guys! There were loads and loads of bins everywhere. The range is me is soo deep, so so deep! The injustice wound is screaming. What’s wrong with these idiots! What is it about their entitlement that means it’s ok to litter like that. The worst part was as the dad was throwing his drinks tray to the ground, he clocked me watching him. He just looked at me and carried it on. Here is another big concern, I’m being serious now. I really, really, really wanted to pick up the rubbish. Did I want to clean up, am I that concerned about the environment, did I want a reaction from these dick heads, did I want to embarrass them, did I want to be embarrassed by others? Am I really that autistic? Holy shit! WTF!!!

Anyhow I didn’t do a thing other than fester. Bringing it back to the first part, the whole family are allergic to walking to a bin, so all of them just used the ground instead. This included his kids in their 20’s. 

This next part is an observation on love and how people express it. There was a couple behind me, I didn’t take much notice of them until he started yelling at her. She has returned after 20 minutes, she had gone to the loo miles away. So, in his rant to her, he’s complaining that she missed the good songs, he was worried, where did she go, why did it take so long etc. Had this man had the ability to tune into his nervous system, he could have just hugged her and said, “I’m glad you’re back. I got worried.” Is over reaction is based on love and everyone shows it in different ways. 

Choose which way you want to give it and receive it. I have zero, absolutely zero tolerance for anyone raising their voice to me. As humans we can get animated when we’re passionate about things or when we are trying to express something that is important. I get that, I just won’t accept it. I recently told a friend in conversation, no need to raise your voice. He clocked that and sorted it out right away. Side note - this is why I talk to my family for 60 minutes a month max. Aggressive, loud, spiteful is the default tone. No thanks.

I’m heading to a BBQ at 15:00. I know lot of people but don’t really gel well with many of them. I make the effort and it’s all cordial but they are not my people. Effort can be exhausting. I get on so well with the couple hosting which is the reason I’m going. 

Side note about the adultly stuff. This BBQ family have my spare key so I’m often there when I’ve locked myself out. Last month when this happened, it was day after I found out about my other friend and her husband cheating. So I asked BBQ couple to promise me that if the marriage doesn’t work out, get counselling or get divorced but don’t cheat. It’s just bad. The wife then immediately said, he drives me crazy but I love him and I would never do that. The husband then said to me, she never tells me she loves me and the then had a joking row. I then told him he needs to promise me, and he did. They are a funny bunch. Lots of love and lots of volume in their home. We are all so different. (I just personally know that volume disrupts my nervous system. I’m totally down with loud music, just not raised voices)

Oh and I made my famous delicious potato salad. Here is the recipe.

Small jersey royal potato’s or any small ones. Boil, let cool, chop, keep the skin on.

Helmann’s mayonnaise 

Spring onions

Celery chopped super small and fine

Black Pepper

Himalayan sea salt

Onion granules

Garlic powder 

It’s yum! I’ll add a picture if I remember 

Toodle-oo 

Post BBQ

On the way to Mr.Richmond’s flat. He’s away until Wednesday and I haven’t stayed there since January. I suspect this will be my last house sitting stint as there are lots of changes in his life. So I’ll make the most of the park, the Thames, the views, the solitude. 

Here are some observations from the BBQ. I also want to acknowledge my judgment. I’m really trying hard to observe, hold, move on. However I’m not really making fast progress in this department. 

Wonderful coach Renee is have a well deserved break with family. Often I leave her voice notes and she will give me things to reflect on. This is all part of her coaching agreement and her commitment to her clients. 

I’ll stop beating around the bush and just let it rip. 

Hello!!!! All of these girls (ok maybe not all - maybe 5) are on GLP1’s. So to be clear - this is a me problem, not them. Is taking the fat jab cheating. Am I jealous, am I envious, do I want to be skinnier? Why the fuck do I care what other people are doing or taking. Can I not just stay in my fucking lane. OR could it be that I’m deeply concerned of the very reported side effects of loss of bone density. Or how about Ozempic vagina. Oh yes! You heard me right, there is such a thing. Go on… Google it. No thank you! I’ll keep my body and my parts, just the way they are. 

Here is another observation from one of the BBQ guests. She doesn’t like, never has. That fine, that’s her problem. The good thing is now I’m calmer, better, stronger and I don’t put up with a sly dig or jab. I’ll be fast with my words. And I choose my words vs saying fuck off. 

So we are in the kitchen, off of the garden. She has just recently arrived at the BBQ. She asks me if I have seen the host. I tell her “(Host) is in the garden she’s wearing green.” She then says to me, “I know what Host looks like”. I then respond very quickly and say , “(her name), I’m not disputing that you don’t know what Host looks like, I was only trying to describe what she was wearing so it’s easier to pick her out.”

For fuck sake! What’s wrong with these woman! It’s not even hormones, some woman are just catty bitches. Or better yet, she likes to remind me that she still doesn’t like me! Guess what folks! I don’t give a fuck. Of all the people at the house today. Other than her parents and brother and parents. There was one other person who knows her longer than me. We have been friends for over 23 years! Enough said. 

More observations. Of the 11 woman there, only 4 wore summer dresses. I was one of them. I love a frock, they are so great! Come on woman. Embrace the feminine. I got a few nice compliments. This is growth. I’m now able to say. Thank you and smile. Old me, would say, of this dress, it’s only £19 from Primark. No…. This is not what I do now. I don’t deflect. I hold it. 

For my female readers…. Ladies. Take the compliments. 

I also got compliments on my hair. It was straighten and tied in a clip. The compliment was how it looked nice and so did the sliver gray streak. He then went on to say how nice it is to see someone age naturally. I would have to agree. Since I stopped colouring my hair over 3 years ago. It’s become more curly too. 

Suck it up Buttercup

Hello All,

Suck it up Buttercup is going to be my self-motto of 2016!

I am going to make a real conscious push to not complain. Of course all my complaints are 100% justified and valid however I’m going to try really hard and just not complain. I can hear some of you already laughing at me.

I made a whole lot of decisions towards the end of 2015, that I wanted to implement in 2016. I suppose you can also call them goals.

One of the really, really big ones is to get out of debt for good and live within my means. This means not purchasing anything at all on credit. I have to have the money or else I just can’t have it. Additionally while I have to live with what I have, I need to pay for all the things that I already have, that includes the credit cards. Now I am a lucky ducky and have ‘shit hot’ credit so the banks are always offering me the best of everything. I’m in a very privileged position to say that I’ll be paying this all off at 0% yippee!!! I did a balance transfer in November, which has prepped me for my 2016/2017 plans. It might take a while but I’m on board.

I have wanted to sort this out forever but just never got around to it. Who likes those people that are all talk and no action. Not me! but that’s how I was behaving.

So how did I make this 360 degree change, you ask? It was this crazy American guy called Dave Ramsey. I’ve been listing to his podcast daily and watching a whole lot of Americans on Youtube. He talks about zero balance budgeting. Every dollar/pound that comes into your account needs to have a place to go. It needs to be allocated. He also talks about the cash envelope system, which is something else that I’m doing. I’m not going to write much on this as all you have to do is Google Dave Ramsey and his baby steps. I’m on baby step 2! I’m going to have to cut back on holidays, shopping etc. (Warning: I would like to say personally there are moments I find it difficult listening to him. He’s really religious, gun loving, anti Obama redneck. If we ever met it real life it would not go down well. None the less, his opinion on money is interesting a worth a listen)

Lucky for me I have a few exciting things lined up that I purchased in 2015 for events in 2016. This year I will be gong to Glastonbury for the 4^th year on the trott! I can’t wait!!! I also managed to bag tickets to see Adele, Coldplay and The Maccabees this year. Puls I have one big holiday in March. It’s not a place that I have ever had on my list, its not really my bag… but I’m going to Las Vegas to get hitched! No not really… It’s my moms 60^th birthday and of all the million places in this great world of ours, she wants to go to Vegas. So being the worlds best child ever, I’ll tag along. My brother and sister will also be there with a few of my moms closest friends who are willing to indulge in these shenanigans. I think I might have mentioned this before but I’m not very British when it comes to drinking with my family. I absolutely hate being around my folks when they drink, they rarely get drunk but its not fun. Who knows how I’m going to survive this trip but wish me luck. I’ll be in Vegas over Easter.

After the above list of fun things, I have nothing else lined up at all. I’ve heard this term that makes me laugh but will also be very relevant to me. It’s called ‘The Summer of Suck’. I’m going to have to find fun entertaining things to do that cost almost nothing. No trips abroad, camping weekends maybe?

Oooh I have found a new pastime activity that I like. I’m upcycling furniture and making things. You should all check out Annie Sloan. She’s British but way more popular in the US. Her thing is chalk paint. Last weekend I painted 2 old IKEA kitchen stools and then waxed them one night this week. I’m pretty good at painting and have painted almost every room in this house. While on the topic of houses, this last November, house and I celebrated 10 years together! Can you believe it! I’ve been a homeowner for 10 years!! Kinda cool don’t ya think. There is still so much to do when you have a home that is 119 years old! Its time I get a new kitchen but… I’m sticking to the plan. Finish the baby steps and then see what money is left, I would also like to pay off my mortgage by the time I’m 45. I have no idea how I’ll find that extra money but I’ll try.

In the past I have spoken about aging but thought I would say a little more about that. I like aging. I think I’m doing a pretty good job of it. I’m so much more resilient about so many things and I’ve learned so much over the years. People occasionally still manage to hurt me but less and less so. I have also learned to live with different kinds of relationships. Long gone are the best friends. I might use the word out of habit but I don’t have best friends anymore, they are all busy doing their own thing. Some of them call me from time to time. Some of them make the effort to see me, some don’t. Either way… its ok. I’ve made a life of my own. I so rarely get board these days, I enjoy my own company so much. I’m growing into me, life just fits better. There is no change in actually knowing what my bright future holds but its bright. I don’t know what will be… but it will be.

The same things that make my world go round from the beginning remain. Love & Music… that’s it, that’s all.

I know a few people that don’t listen to music very often at all, almost never. They listen to BBC 4 and that’s about it. They both have very good jobs (doctor and teacher) but I don’t understand how they do it. Not a day goes by where I’m not listening to something or another. This brings me to the very sad death of David Bowie. I was sitting at my desk at work 7am when it was announced on BBC6 Music that the musical creative ledged David Bowie had died. World wide reactions might be dramatic for some of you, but music is such a powerful visceral thing. Bowie songs is / was the soundtrack of our lives. How can you not hear a song and be brought back to the time in your life when…..

I’m a massive movie fan so soundtracks to movies are very powerful for me. Only since David’s passing have I realized how I knew so many of his songs without knowing it was him, who sang it. I’ve seen Reality Bites and Pretty Woman so many times over the years, both have Bowie in the soundtrack. There are so many films that have his music.

Last thing before I go, the composer of the soundtrack for Hateful Eight was totally deserving of its Golden Globe award. So was Brie Larson for Room and Leo for The Revenant. (Yes folks, I’ve seen it all. If I’m not listening to music I’m in a theater watching a film)

Be good kids, I hope to not be so much of a stranger. Its one of my goals! If you get a chance listen to the Dave Ramsey podcast #7875 where he talks about goals

Laters peeps

Lxx

What I'm currently listening to

This evenings horrendous journey home has been made bearable by the following:

(Do you hear a hint of seseame street there? You should)

Some good old classic 80's tunes. In the air tonight by Phil Collins. Play it super loud and you won't be sorry. The drums bit just rocks.

The other fine album that's keeping me company is the self titled album Benjamin Booker. Check it out. 

I'm writing this on the iPhone and so I don't know how to add links. Just google it. 

Oh! And I haven't told you. I didn't get Glastonbury tickets. I'm still distrait but I will find a way! I will, I will, I will

Lxx